OPEN-BRAIN SURGERY

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welcome to

***** ********,

the movie. the title has something to do with two (soft) vowels and two (soft) hands (probably) the size of

antarctica i've held each of these hands (four) times since we met in the bathroom on the first day of first grade when i broke his nose and then went on to be the hand that

held the

wrinkled tissue used to clean it.

once: when he

fell (or jumped) off a church balcony while trying to touch God, he cracked open his (hard) head so bad you could see the pinks of his brain painted (or tainted) over with white to deceive the eyes that poked (or stabbed) at it three times a week (called Therapy Session with Mrs. Miss Anne Brown, who only asked yes or no questions and had never been married (except to the bottle of gin underneath her handbag he had found one time while scrummaging around for a way out) and wears fat wedding rings big as eyeballs on her hands, which are much smaller than continents) i grasped his hand until he could speak without his teeth falling out or his thoughts dropping out of his ears or cry without being worried he'd never stop

second:

that (one) time he answered a question in class ("so why is the ocean blue?") ("cause it was born that way.") and was so wrong and was laughed at by the hyena children (also called maxlucas&robert, and sometimes david, the softer one) so hard he then proceeded to melt into

yellow desk he was glued to until

i couldn't tell him a part from the linoleum floors i

had to use

five basins (almost) the size of the east village in new york to carry him home

(he held his breath the whole bus ride)

when he stepped out of the fridge (the shower) all solid and full of cold water he asked whether anyone slipped on him at school and i said no dude i wouldn't let anyone do that and i didn't think he believed me so i

squeezed his hand until i was sure he did

the third time occurs

outside. we're running away from 1. the fires of hell (black-and-white checkered balls) with the demon (coach) circling the premise with an axe (whistle) swinging from his chest, looking for our lungs and legs as food for the flames

we are running from

2. this town, with the walls reaching up (near) one hundred million billion trillion feet but if you run fast enough

straight up at sun you can (maybe) flip right over into paradise

we are also running from 3. ourselves. he stepped out of his body and i left mine beside it in the locker room, standing watch for

enemies that dare question the stillness of my face for anything other than

the standard empty.

he (trips) flies all the way down a

hill (about) as long as south america and i

(trip) fly all the way down to see him, and we're rolling in the desert (the baseball dugout), trying hard not to drown into the

Atlantic Ocean (the swimming pools), coming to safety in the verdants of the county side (back at the soccer field, because someone had noticed the fakes we left in the locker room were actually fake and was trying to kill us before we could ourselves)

he (mumbles and) says hey man this was really fun i really like hanging out with you

and i (choke on grass and a heart the same color as nigerian soil and) say yeah it was i like hanging out with you

and he smiles with eyes (nearly) as shiny as gems and i think, wow, who would have thought i'd

become an lapidary today, just so i could

wake up every morning and find new gems just like the ones (stuck) in his face

and he (smiles and) says stop looking at me like that, but i can't so

i hold his hand instead.

the fourth time isn't

when he dies even though that's

usually how it's supposed to end for

boys like us: blue as the morning glories from birth no

the fourth time is

when

he asks me to

when

he is isn't even dying

or melting

or tripping

or running away

no

the fourth time, we're both happy

sitting on clouds (bean bag chairs) just a little ways from heaven (his brother's room in the basement, with cable and a computer that works and radio that plays all the right songs and air condition that blows through your bones and sticker stars that flicker from the ceiling)

and he's like (burning from the inside out) hey i love you, i think, is that okay?

and i'm like (burning from the outside in) hey yeah that's cool haha i think i love you too and he's like (with all the teeth in world to form the world's biggest grin) cool can i hold your hand? and i'm like (with all the butterflies in the world breaking out of their silk cocoons in my stomach) yeah and he's like (with the smile as big as antartica) cool. okay. 

—

yo i don't know anything about riverdale but that veronica girl is maaad cute. i wrote this a long time ago and i can't remember what the asterisk stand for *shrugs*. happy sunday everybody! happy july.