If Only She Knew

Shanti -4

I cried, standing there with the positive pregnancy test in my hand while he threw up all over my floor. It's crazy how you can tell a nigga how much you care about him and now all of a sudden he love his wife so much. I just knew this would be my happily ever after. She told me this would prove everything. I guess this was my reality check.
"How?" he sobbed.
"What do you mean how?"
"How did you get pregnant?"
I looked at him as if he had lost his mind, then I lost it!
"How the fuck you think I got pregnant?! When was the last time we used protection?! Be real, you acting like you real fucking stupid right now! You grown, you know where the fuck a baby come from!"
He stood as if he didn't like the tone I was using with him. His look somehow frightened me. He looked me dead in my eyes and said, "Bitch when the fuck you got off the fucking birth control?"
"I stopped a couple months ago," I said afraid to even respond.
"Bitch months ago?!" I could see the veins in his forehead start to surface. I couldn't say anything. I just stood there.
"Bitch! Months ago!" He yelled as he pushed my head against the wall knocking one of my pictures to the ground, shattering the glass. I fell to the ground, glass stuck in my legs and feet. He continued knocking vases to the floor, punching holes in the walls, and breaking anything close in sight. After he tired down, he fell to his knees. Crying. I mean this nigga was really crying. This was the first time in real life I ever seen a man cry. This was like a scene from a Lifetime or a Tyler Perry movie. I started to actually feel sorry for him. I could tell he was hurt. This man has never put his hands on me in ways that were not pleasurable. He must really love her, but if so how could he have carried on this thing between us for so long?
"Why! Why man why?"
I said nothing.
"Why the fuck would you do this? This shit ain't right! This shit ain't right man! I got a fucking wife. My first child suppose to be with my wife! How the fuck am I suppose to explain this shit Shant?"
"I don't know Brandon," I said quietly damn near whispering.
He cried harder. I crawled to him in effort to comfort him.
"Get the fuck back all this shit is yo fucking fault!"
"My fault? Motherfucka it takes two!"
"How the fuck I'm supposed to explain this to my wife."
"I don't know what you want me to say Brandon."
He stood up. I moved back, getting out of his way. He stood there quiet for about ten minutes, lost in his thoughts I guess. Then he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a wad of money and started counting the bills. He laid some of the bills on the table.
"You know what to do," he said before going out of the door.
The door opened again, he peaked his head back in and said, "I left a lil extra too, you better not say shit to NOBODY and I MEAN it! I promise you, you gone fucking regret it if you do!"
He walked out of the house. I didn't move until I seen the lights from the car pull out of the driveway. I got up and started cleaning up the house that the man that I love to death damn near destroyed. I swept up glass for what seemed about twenty minutes. Once I finally found my phone under all the debris, I called my girl.
"Hey babe."
"Whassup girl why you sound like you been crying?"
"I did it. I did what you said."
"You did what?!"
"You said the best way to find out if a nigga love you is to get pregnant."
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! WTF Shanti! That was not what I fucking meant! Did I not explain to you my situation? Why would you do that a child ain't no fucking joke!"
"That's not even all of it, Keisha. He's married!"
"Really, Shant! You really stooped that low? A married man? And now I bet you he's not gone leave his wife for you huh? What the fuck was you thinking?"
"I didn't think it was gone be like this."
"You really thought it was gone be all peaches and cream, huh?"
"I fucked up."
"Yes you did. So what's your plan now?"
"I guess you gotta do what you gotta do?"
"Yea I guess so."
"Yea I'll holla at you later." Click.
I walked over to the table where Brandon left the money. I ran my fingers thru ten hundreds. I guess this is the abortion money. Had to have been his bitch's money. Brandon stopped working a month or two ago. If I had not seen it with my own eyes I would've never imagined this nigga would act the way he did today. Everything been so lovey dovey up until now. I guess she was right.. If you really want to see if a nigga down, tell him your pregnant.
My phone rung.
"Hello"
"Hey Tee Tee I was calling to see if you were still coming to help me with the baby shower?"
I looked at the wreck my house was in. I couldn't stay here right now, not like this. I needed to get my ass out of this house.
"Yea baby I'll be there in about thirty minutes."
"Kay"
"Thank you so much baby. Thanks for what you did for me?"
"Your welcome, what did you need it for?"
"I'll tell you once you're older."
"I guess," she said laughing.
"I love you, I'll be there in a minute."
"Kay, I love you too! Bye."
Click.
I smiled standing there with a whole stack in my hands. Shit, I'm glad I did what I did. Fuck that nigga, and his bitch.