Wrong Side of Love (Ziam bodyswap)

Chapter 14

Liam almost forgets about Perrie coming. Almost being the operative word, because they have an interview two days later, something with a big day-time television program, just before they perform Best Song Ever live and, of course, it's brought up.

"We've got it on good authority that your fiancée will be coming to spend a few days with you here," one of the interviewers (Jace, maybe? Or Jack?) asks. "Are you excited?"

Liam doesn't even get a chance to answer. That's probably a good thing, but it doesn't stop his blood from boiling, or the way his eyes narrow to slits.

"He won't stop gushing over it, actually," Zayn pipes up. "You should hear him go on about it. Bit adorable, I think."

"That's cute," the female interviewer says. "Does the time apart put a strain on your relationship?"

Liam smiles, sweet as he can, and says, "The only thing that gets strained when we're apart is my right hand, really."

Louis cracks first, snorting a laugh so hard that he has to bury his head in Niall's shoulder. Harry sucks on his bottom lip and tries to repress a laugh. Niall is a beat slow, picking it up only a moment later, and then he's laughing harder than Louis, jostling him with it. Even the interviewers let out a polite, good natured laugh. And Zayn— Zayn is smiling tightly, not looking ready to kill Liam, the way Liam expected he would.

"Okay," the female interviewer says, "moving on. Do any of you have any particular plans for Australia? Last time you all seemed to have a good time. What's in store for you during this visit?"

"Boats 'n hoes," Zayn says immediately. "Those are my plans. Boats and hoes."

"That sounds like a lovely time, Liam," Louis says, not helping at all.

"That's a bit offensive," Harry comments. "Boats and women, Liam. A hoe is a piece of gardening equipment."

Niall is red now, and Liam's almost concerned for his safety, at this point. If he laughs any harder, he might break something. And Liam's definitely going to break something if Zayn doesn't keep his mouth closed for the rest of the interview.

"Let's move on to a few of our viewer questions," Jack suggests. "We've got a few here sent in from fans. Just trying to find the best ones." He shuffles around a bunch of cue cards. "Okay, who would you say is the biggest slob out of all of you?"

"Louis," everyone says automatically. Everyone but Zayn, who says, "I'd reckon me, actually. I mean, I just—" He sweeps out his hand, knocking over the empty water bottle on the table. "What can I say, I like messes. Sometimes I don't shower for weeks. That's why my hair looks like this."

"Well it works on you," the female interviewer says, with a slightly flirty grin that has Zayn's teeth grinding, but Liam doesn't think anyone but him notices.

"Alright, next question. What's your favorite thing to do on stage? Aside from singing, of course," Jack says. "The five of you get up to some crazy things, right?"

Louis laughs and goes on to recount the story of Liam falling and knocking him over, and when he's done Liam says, "I slap all the lads' bums a lot."

It's true, too, Zayn does that a lot, but he's not done yet. "There's just — you know, like." Liam stops, trying to adopt that look Zayn sometimes gets at photoshoots, his 'brooding artist' look, like he's about to say something really deep and meaningful. "When someone walks in, you know, with an itty bitty waist? You know what I'm talking about? And a round thing in my face, I just — I get sprung. I can't help myself."

"I know what you're talking about," Niall says through his laughter. "You just—" Niall covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

"I think more of the fun happens behind the stage," Zayn puts in. He's glaring at Liam while he says, "Like, the other day I used a tape measurer, you know, just to see how big it was. And I'm pretty pleased with the eight and a half—"