Sun and Moon

Chapter 7 - 161 days

Dear Moon,

Do you think I'm pathetic? Because I do. The sulking has continued and I think that I've now got to my lowest point. If there is an even lower point than this, then I'll be greatly surprised.

Do you remember how much you hated it when me and the guys went out and got drunk? Every time I told you that I was going to go out with them, you looked at me with a frown on your face, before sighing heavily and waving me off. I knew deep inside that you hated it, but before you, I was an alcoholic, and even though I wasn't an alcoholic when we were together, I still enjoyed a few drinks with my friends.

And now, I have to tell you that I'm yet again, an alcoholic. I have made some futile attempts to resist a nice bottle of vodka, but in the end, the bottle won. It's now my best friend and it keeps me company during the cold and harsh nights. When I'm drunk, my emotions are dulled down. The pain you left behind isn't as great and for a while, I feel content.

Moon, I know that it's bad for my liver and that I could end up with some horrible sickness, but if that means that I'll be one step closer to seeing you again, then I have no problem with it. Please don't be mad at me. This is now the only way I know to deal with these things. These emotions. This pain.

The room is starting to spin now, everything is very wavy. It's like I'm on a boat or something. My thoughts are everywhere. I can't seem to form a proper sentence anymore.

My hands itch, I have this urge to grab something, to let my rage out, but I'm not sure on what or how. I want something sharp, like a knife. Ah yes, a knife would be excellent.

Woops, I think I dropped the bottle. I have destroyed my best friend, just like I destroyed you. I'm sorry.

Let me tell you a secret. Can you guess what it is? No? Then I'll tell you.

I love you.

Until we meet again,

Sun