pills // malum

fifteen// message man

"you don't know my brain the way you know my name,
you don't know my heart the way you know my face"

"michael, there's something i need to tell you," calum sayid softly, letting go of michael's hand.
michael nodded and let out out a small smile, urging calum to continue. calum looked down at his shoes and shuffled them around on the pavement.

"so, um, i don't really know how to start this, sorry," calum said shyly after stuttering a few times.
"it's okay, keep going," michael said, grabbing calum's hand again as encouragement. calum smiled at their hands and looked back up at michael.

"so, ever since you saved me on the bridge, i haven't been able to stop thinking about you," calum started, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks, "there's just something about you that draws me to you."
it was michael's turn to blush.
"i used to, um, take these pills, and they'd keep me happy, but i haven't taken any since i met you because... i don't need pills when i have you to keep me happy. and i like you. a lot. like more than friends," calum stuttered and hesitated his way through his speech. when he finished, michael had a big smile plastered across his face. he leaned down and gently kissed calum's cheek, leaving calum to let out a small giggle.
"cal, i feel the same way, i promise, but i have to get home right now. wanna meet in the park tonight?" michael asked.
"sounds good, mikey, see you tonight," he watched michael walk away while waving, and then walked inside his house. his mother was at the table staring out the window while drinking tea, but she quickly looked over at calum and set down her cup when he walked into the room.
"calum, i need to talk to you," she said shakily. calum's eyes widened when he realized that she had seen michael kiss his cheek. he walked over and sat in front of her.

"who were you talking to out there?" she asked.

"my friend michael, we met a few weeks ago and-" calum began to tell her about michael, realizing that he never really mentioned him around his mom, but she cut him off.

"michael who? clifford? were you on the phone with him?" her voice seemed to get shakier. calum furrowed his eyebrows.

"yes, and no, he was right next to me. mom, are you okay?" calum said, concern lacing his voice. his mother stared into her tea and her hands gripped the mug so tightly that her knuckles turned white and calum was afraid it'd shatter.

"i should've been watching you more carefully, ugh, i'm so stupid!" she mumbled to herself, releasing the mug and dragging her hands down her face before gently laying a hand on top of calum's.

"you're sure he was with you?" she asked again. calum hesitantly nodded.
"calum, this is going to be hard for you to hear," she said softly, "but there was no one there."

"what? of course there was someone there, what do you mean there wasn't anyone?" calum said, scooting back in his chair and sliding his hand out from under her's.

"calum, listen to me, the 'michael' you are talking to isn't real, he's just in your imagination," his mom said firmly. calum was standing again and backing away, his eyes widened.
"no, michael is real i've been talking to him for weeks, i felt him hug me on the bridge and hold my hand, mom i felt him, he's real!" calum insisted, his voice becoming shaky. his mom slowly stood up and walked to calum and softly held both of his hands. she could hear calum's shaky breathing and he held a frantic expression, tears welling in his eyes.
"calum, this michael isn't real, the real michael died in a car crash when you were younger," she said, loudly, trying to get through to him.

"nonono michael is real! i was just talking to him, he's my friend, he saved my life! he's real, he has to be real!" calum yelled, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"cal, you're schizophrenic, what do you think you're pills are for?" she said in confusion. calum ripped his hands away.

"no i'm not! i'm not crazy! you're the fucking crazy one here, not me!" calum yelled before running away from his mother's grasp and into the bathroom. he splashed cold water onto his face and looked into the sink.
"i'm not schizophrenic. i'm not crazy. michael is real. i'm not crazy," he whispered to himself.

"that's where you're wrong, cal, you are definitely crazy, and i'm sure as hell that i'm not real," a familiar, but cruel voice said behind him. calum's eyes widened and he glanced in the mirror, and there, behind him, was michael, grinning evilly and laughing and calum.
"you're such a fucking idiot, i can't believe you actually fell for that!" michael taunted, "who would ever love you?" the tips of michael's hair turned red, and slowly, the rest of his hair turned the same shade.

"now that you have me figured out, cally, it's time for the fun to begin," michael smirked evilly, sending chills down calum's spine.