5. Born to Do This

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"Ready, Fi?" Zing asks me.

"Zing, I've been asking you that for a lifetime now!!"

Zing snorts in response.

"Okay, maybe not that much, but still a lot!!"

"Yes, and let's leave."

I just smack my head at my stupidity for even trying to argue with him. Donning my oxy tank, I walk outside, Zing following me.

While we walk to the DSR cabin, I try to calm down. On the way there, we encounter Petry, who's also heading to the DSR cabin to report for work, her teammate by her side.

"Good luck, guys, to- What, why are you shaking your head, Zing?" Petry says.

I look over to Zing who reacts surprisedly. I just shake it off and storm ahead.

"What in Zorg just happened??" Petry's teammate asks.

"She has a thing about 'luck' and things like that. Just don't bring it up again..." Zing says.

I try to shake off that feeling of revulsion and hatred threatening to overwhelm me now.

"Fi, it- don't-"

"Don't give me that nonsense, Zing. Besides, just drop it."

And drop it he does. Like it's meteor stream debris. He must be thinking this (gif below)...


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He doesn't say a thing, just trails behind as I walk ahead. Now I can't block the reminder of what happened as it fills out my mind and I stop dead in my tracks.

I remember now how she left for a 'safe' mission, I wished her 'Good luck', and I watched wide- eyed, unable to do anything and helpless, as she got blown into pieces.

I know it's irrational, but I hold myself responsible for what happened. And I hate myself for not even lifting a finger to do a thing. I know I couldn't do anything. Yet if only I hadn't wished her luck...

My body convulses involuntarily for a second, but Zing manages to steady me. It's partially the memory and the effect it has on me, and partially something else I can't describe.

"Fi, are you okay? Fi?" Zing asks me, his face filled with concern.

I hold up a finger, compose myself and nod.

"Let's proceed." I say in a gritty voice, trying to hold back my tears, but my voice shakes a bit at the end.

"Fi." Zing says and embraces me, whispering in my ear, "You can tell me."

I pull back and nod, saying, "Later."

I turn back to Petry and her teammate (whose name I still don't know) who're standing still, their faces shocked.

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