Still the One

Chapter 13 - Consequences Part 2

Nonna had sent me home once I could barely keep my eyes open. I'd texted Ben earlier to tell him where I was dining and he'd replied he would be catching up with Tom, who was in town for a few days, so all was quiet in the flat. I tumbled into bed, sleeping fitfully for a few hours before being woken at two in the morning with the twins seemingly intent on jumping up and down on my bladder. After tending to that need I adjusted all my pillows but further sleep eluded me as the list of everything I needed to accomplish kept rewriting itself in my brain. Around three thirty I had a shower then went into the study to work on the song for Ed, achieving very little and becoming more and more frustrated with every abandoned phrase and note. By five I gave up in disgust and headed back to bed. I hadn't heard Ben come in but the spare room door was closed again, so I knew he was home. Any temptation to go in there was quashed by the memory of our last encounter and I knew I had nowhere near enough mental energy to cope with another round of disapproval.

Waking later I was disoriented for a few minutes and had a moment's panic when I saw the time, then remembered I had an ante-natal appointment this morning so wasn't expected at the studio until later. When I sat up I experienced some mild dizziness and put it down to lack of sleep.

My doctor's rooms were in Notting Hill, in a beautiful old house with sky high ceilings and large rooms full of light, painted in a warm butter-soft yellow. The ground floor consulting room looked out on a cottage garden gone wild, with foxglove, larkspur and peonies waving amidst cornflour, lavender and Delphiniums. It was a sight that usually filled me with peace and tranquillity.

Usually.

"Your blood pressure is 150/100."

"Wh-what?"

"It's too high Cara. And I can tell without having to ask that you're not sleeping well; have you been particularly stressed?"

I explained all the things I had on my plate and admitted to being stressed.

"Can you give me a urine sample? I need to check your protein levels." Stunned, I took the glass container and headed to the loo, listening intently while she reminded me of the dangers of pre-eclampsia as she tested it. "Okay, protein levels are normal, thankfully, but I want to check your blood pressure again in four hours and may need to run other tests also. Meanwhile, I suspect you're dehydrated and your weight gain this month indicates you probably haven't been eating well either, so I'm going to book you in to a hospital bed and keep an eye on you for a day or two. If your blood pressure doesn't come down significantly I will place you on Activity Restriction."

"Activity Restriction? What's that?"

"It's basically what we used to call bed rest but you don't have to spend all your time in bed, as that's not a completely healthy option either. You would be restricted to certain low impact, low stress activities with plenty of rest and eating healthily. You won't have to give up work entirely, just cut it back to a number of hours that won't negatively impact on your health or that of your babies."

"How...how long for?"

"If you want your babies to go full term – until they are safely delivered."

Her words shocked me into finally realising that while I'd been so focussed on not letting down my work colleagues, I had been letting down the people who mattered most – my husband and unborn children. As the enormity of what I'd done started sinking in, I began to feel ashamed of myself and terrified that my driven behaviour may have caused harm to our babies. Choking back tears, I promised to follow every instruction to the letter.

Within an hour I was in a private room with pale green walls and sprigged floral curtains. I rang Rick and told him the situation, asking him to hold everything while I worked out a plan. I'd decided that whether I was put on restricted activity or not, work had to take much less of my time; I just needed to determine where to make some serious cut backs.