Still the One

Chapter 38 - The Big O

Some months later

"I can't take it any longer."

"Cara..."

"For God's sake, get this baby out of me before I burst."

"Sweetheart..."

"I will, Ben, I swear. I'll re-enact the Mr Creosote scene from 'The Meaning of Life' and simply burst, and all my innards will go flying around the room. Your child will shoot across the floor and land in a pot of nonna's pasta sauce."

"Darling, I..."

I grabbed his forearms, looking into his face with as much determination as I could muster. "I'm serious, Benedict. Get. This. Child. Out. Of. Me." 

At almost two weeks overdue, I had had enough. More than enough. So much more than enough there were no words to describe how much more than enough I'd had. Why the hell hasn't anyone come up with a word for this yet?

"You have to keep calm, sweetheart..."

"Don't tell me to be calm! You know perfectly well telling me to keep calm has the opposite effect."

"Cara..." Even Ben's long arms can't reach completely around me now with this enormous lump on my front, though he makes the effort, knowing it will have a soothing effect on me. Which it does. He always manages to calm my crazies, bless him.

"I'm sorry, darling, I'm just so freaking...full. My lungs are so squished by baby I can't take a deep breath, my insides are sure to be black and blue from all the kicking, I haven't seen my feet in weeks – which is probably just as well, as I'm pretty sure my ankles are the size of houses - and I swear I have to pee every five minutes. I don't know how much more of this I can stand."

He holds my head to his chest, kissing the top of it and making soft murmuring sounds that coax a sigh out of me. "I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable, my kooky queen; I wish I could help you."

"I know." I try to burrow closer to his warmth but only get frustrated again at the huge barrier between us. "Aren't there some things that are supposed to help bring on labour? At this stage I'm willing to try anything."

"I thought most of them were old wives' tales."

I draw my head back to look him in the face. "Anything, Benedict."

He gets the message. "All right, love, I'm on it."

When I let him go he gets out his phone, thumbs busy typing up the search criteria. I waddle over to the sofa and lower myself down, relieved to be off my feet for a bit.

"Nine natural ways to induce labour?"

Natural ways. Yes. It's a start. "Tell me," I demand.

"Exercise," is the first suggestion he offers. "'It can be anything from a long walk to stair climbing. Gravity may help your baby descend farther into the birth canal and dilate your cervix through simple pressure. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the task ahead.'"

"Wow, they sound really confident about that one, don't they?" From the look Ben throws me, I know he's gotten my sarcasm. "You're already having to push me up the stairs, so that one's a non-starter. What's next?"

He scrolls. "Acupuncture or acupressure?" While he reads it I think about little needles all over me. "Acupuncture can stimulate the release of oxytocin in the body...hmm...no significant differences in the outcome..." Well, so much for that. "'Acupressure...the key is beginning the practice early and often.'"