a Middle Earth therapy session

~Elf~

Gimli pointed at the elf, who shook his head when realising what was happening.

"No, no, no!" He glared at Gimli, "I do not wish to go. Please, I am quite alright. I've just come here for these two–"

"Shut it 'Las! You don't need to pretend. Doctor, uh-- Alcop was it?" The doctor nodded, "Doctor Alcop is here to help us. And don't deny the fact that you're just as scarred as us." Aragorn spoke to the elf as one would speak to their child.

The elf closed his eyes, muttering something along the lines of 'Auta miqula orqu '//Go kiss an orc//  before looking warily at the doctor, "Please let us be done with this as soon as possible." He still looked rigid.

"Alright, full name." The doctor tore a paper from his scrap book, ignoring the looks he got from his patients. 

"Legolas Greenleaf." 

"Oh, so you're Legolas!" The doctor looked up to see the niece standing on the far side of the office. She gave him a small wave. 

"Get out!" He yelled, gesturing to the door with a stern look of his face. He wouldn't tolerate any silly behavior of her's today. 

The niece reluctantly left the room, but not before blowing Legolas a creepy kiss, which said elf did not return. "Who is she?" the elf asked, once the niece had left.

"Sauron's daughter maybe." Alcop spat. "She is a devil, ignore her."

"Anywho, you're age please Legolas."

Legolas stared at the doctor for a while, then began to frown, muttering under his breath. After a few minutes of scratching at his forehead, the elf sighed, "Could we perhaps skip this question?" 

"Of course." The doctor scribbled down more notes, smiling a little. 

This wasn't too bad. The patients seemed curable.

"Alright some random questions now."

Legolas nodded, ignoring Aragorn and Gimli's chuckles. He shot both man and dwarf a glare, silencing their loud obnoxious laughter.

"A hobby of yours?"

"I enjoy archery." Legolas answered without hesitation. The doctor nodded, writing this down.

"An embarrassing moment?" 

Legolas looked down to the carpeted floor. He chewed his lip before answering, "I-I uh-- I once fell from a tree, and fell on.." he cleared his throat. "...I fell on Elrohir and Vanya."

Aragorn clapped his mouth shut, biting his palm to keep himself from snorting out in the most un-kingly manner. He soon gave up, and had to cough to keep from laughing. Gimli had an annoying smirk plastered on his red face. 

"Ai 'Las, I never knew you were the reason for their break-up." Aragorn smirked, "Aw, your ears are red!" 

If looks could kill, the King of Gondor would no longer be counted among the living. 

Gimli lost it then, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I do believe my dwarf friend has finally gone mad." Legolas seethed, hiding his flushed face behind a curtain of blond hair, which only ignited Gimi's laughter. Aragorn soon joined in, face bright red from lack of oxygen, and laughing.

Once Gimli and Aragorn were settled, Alcop resumed questioning a rather humiliated elf. 

"Someone important to you."

"My mother. She was always there for me."

"I'm sorry, was?"

"She was-- she's dead." Legolas answered. His face was passive and showed no sign of emotion. 

The doctor nodded, giving the elf a reassuring smile, "Thank you Legolas." 

"Alright, I do believe it is your turn Gimli." Alcop turned to face the dwarf.