a Middle Earth therapy session

A Joking Matter?

"There must have been some kind of plot development?"

"None. T'was as though she took over the entire Rivendell."

"She enjoyed self praise?"

"Enjoyed, yes. Though she didn't think to mellow it down. In fact she thought herself 'modest'."

"Her name?"

A shudder, "Mithril."

"What infuriated you personally?"

"Me?" A nod. "Well her in general. She, the most perfect being in all of Arda. She, the wisest of all. She, the most beautiful and ethereal-- more so than Lady Galadriel."

"Ah."

"The book doctor, caused much damage."

"As shown. Tell me one thing," A slight smile. "You were mentioned?"

"Eh, no. And when I was.. the stupidity scarred us all."

"Who was there with you?"

"Many. Too many to all recall. We were all in the least insulted in one way or the other by that cursed author." A short pause. "Well all save maybe Legolas. Though he and Aragorn lost everything else. Such as their dignity."

"I see." Scribbling of notes. "I thank you master dwarf." More scribbling. "Ahem, uh, Legolas will you answer now?"

"Yes doctor."

"Alright," Clearing of throat. "Your thoughts on the book, please."

"Scarring, unnatural piece of literature that should be rid off immediately."

"Any words you'd say to the author if given the chance?"

"Words? No." Shake of a head. "Actions? I will not be able to refrain from using my knives."

Scratching of a pen. "You were not insulted?"

"Nay, not nearly as much as the others. Though I was often the main topic. Not in an acceptable manner, of course."

"You played her main love interest then?"

A deflated sigh. "Aye,"

"It was not nice?"

"Absolutely not! By the Valar, it was torture."

"You were the reader?"

"We all read at some point. Though Este-- forgive me, Aragorn often took up being our groups reader."

"Anything else you'd like to express on the matter?"

"No, I am well."

"Right," A slight smile. "Aragorn?"

"I'm ready doctor."

"That is well," A hearty chuckle, "you have a sense of aura about you. Did you stay calm and collected throughout the entire ordeal?"

"Oh Valar, no. No one was calm. No one remained collected."

"Why did you three seek help after three months?"

"Well I personally thought it would all return back to the way it had been. We really did try enjoy life as we had before, but of course to no avail." A slight sigh. "The book had in fact left its print-- it's cursed mark on us all. Gimli, Legolas and I could not bear it any longer. So we thought therapy would be helpful."

"Did the others present not wish the same?"

"They are far too stubborn for that. Though they said they'd do it if it got bad."

"Who played victim most in the story?"

"It was unfortunately Legolas and I. Then Elladan, Elrohir, King Thranduil and Lord Elrond right after us."

"How long was it?"

"For us, it seemed ages had passed. In truth it took to three days to complete."

"Did you all take breaks?"

"Only short ones. And one we had to take due to.. uh, people going.. insane."

"I see. Well, thank you Aragorn."

"You are welcome doctor."

A raised hand.

"Yes Gimli?"

"Do you think we'll get back to normal, doctor?"

"You are normal Gimli. Would any normal person be perfectly fine after reading such atrocity?"

"I suppose not."

"Then you have your answer."