a Middle Earth therapy session

The BOOK is all together EVIL

"It all began three months ago." Legolas paused, glancing warily at the wooden table. "Aragorn and I had decided on venturing out to the lake just on the borders of Rivendell, though he found something rather peculiar before we made it out of the elven realm."

Alcop nodded for him to continue. 

"He found...uh-- well, he found a book." Legolas shivered, and it wasn't because of the air-conditioned room. "It was horrifyingly hilarious at first, though as he read the book to us all we began to understand the pure evil it carried." 

"What was the book about Legolas?" the psychologist asked gently.

The three forms shivered. Aragorn answered hesitantly, "It was ridiculous. The author insulted both King Thranduil and Lord Elrond in the most awful ways. In fact, the book spoke of us all in a crude manner."  

"Aye, the idiotic author insulted my entire race!" Gimli seethed. Legolas shook his head sadly, giving Gimli a reassuring smile. 

"I see.." Alcop frowned, looking upon the three beings. Suddenly his face lit up in understanding. "You discovered a Fanfiction." he stated bemusedly. Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas nodded.

"Aye, we did." The dwarf grunted. "A very bad one at that. The terrible terrible literature scarred us all."

"It did!" Aragorn immediately agreed with the dwarf. "The author I fathom is mad."

Alcop suppressed a small smile, nodding and listening to the man and dwarf as they continued to reveal the books content and open up to the psychologist. The Doctor was glad the patients weren't too badly damaged by the book.

"She called my father a dirty short tree stump."

"She called ME a cheater. Arwen almost believed it!

"She said I had a rusty beard!"

"She got together with every male man or elf!"

"She stole Lady Arwen's lines!"

"She thought she was the most elegant being in all of Middle Earth!"

"She made the rest of us sound like lovesick fools when around her!"

"She almost killed Legolas!"

"Yeah- wait what!?" Gimli stopped short, staring at Aragorn. "She almost killed Legolas?" He questioned once more.

Legolas nodded. He had remained silent throughout the whole dwarf/man screaming competition. "Aye, the wench almost killed me." He spat angrily. Flicking at his nails, he glared at the oak desk before him, grinding his teeth noisily. The elf's usual pale complexion had reddened incredibly. He looked ready to explode.

"She almost killed me! She made Lord Elrond drown! She called my father a lusty widower! She got the twins to give her TWO foot massages EACH! She called Lady Galadriel's hair greasy! She insulted Lady Eowyn and Lady Arwen's natural beauty! She compared Gimli's whole family to burnt tree stumps! She stole most of the other's lines! She BLAMED both Gandalf and Glorfindel for letting the Balrog ESCAPE!! SHE MADE US ALL FOLLOW HER AROUND LIKE DOGS!! SHE INSULTED THE HOBBITS THEN CALLED THEM CUTE!! SHE—"

Gimli and Aragorn rushed to calm the raging elf. Chairs and papers were thrown around as the man, dwarf and doctor tried to catch the elf and he went mad. Screams and insults left the elf's mouth as he cursed out in elvish, making Aragorn flinch at the choice of words.

'The poor things, they must have truly suffered the ordeal.' Alcop thought grimly as he watched Aragorn hold elf down and whisper soothing words in his ear. Gimli sat in a crouch besides both man and elf, hating the book more than ever.

Alcop knew he would have to call the three in again...for a few more sessions.