Mommy ✓

seven

C H A P T E R S E V E N

☆☆☆

By the time Monday rolled around, I knew that I needed to have a serious talk with Collin. I sent him a text right after first period, asking him if we could talk at break.

When break time came, Manda and I were sitting in our usual chill spot at the far end of the field. Darren and Collin followed soon after and as soon as I saw him, the dread that had settled in my stomach worsened.

"Hi ladies," Darren greeted with his usual confident smile. Manda stood to hug him while I shuffled over to Collin.

"Hey..." he said. He was dressed in the school khaki shorts today and it made his legs look awkward.

"Hi," I replied, "let's take a walk."

We went a little ways away from Manda and Darren and kept a lazy strolling pace as we walked on the field.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. Heat gathered in the space between my body and my blazer and sweat gathered in my hairline. It could've been the heat late January heat but it also could've been my nerves. This was going to be hard.

"Collin, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Collin stopped right in his tracks and turned to face me.

"Why?"

"I just can't do this anymore."

The look on his face was distraught, like he'd just found out that his beloved pet had died or something. I wished the ground would swallow me right up.

"Did I do something to make you unhappy, Paiten? Is it what happened on Saturday? I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make this right Paiten, please," He pleaded.

"No, it's not that," I began.

"Then what is it? What ever you want me to do, I'll do it for you Paiten. I want to make you happy."

"That's the thing, I don't think you can," I replied. I bit my lip and wished that I could drop dead in that exact moment because I felt awful inside.

"Let me try, please," he pleaded.

"I know you want to prove yourself to me Collin and the thing is, it's not you that's the problem here. It's me. I don't think I could ever give you what you want and you deserve to be with someone who likes you the same way you like them. I can't do that."

The look on his face broke me to pieces.

"And you're sure there's nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"I'm afraid not. I'm sorry Collin, I'm so sorry."

Collin grit his teeth so hard the muscle in his jaw twitched. He nodded a couple of times and braced his arms behind his head.

"Okay."

The word was filled with so much pain and I wished I could hold him and tell him that it would all be okay, but that would be an asshole move on my part because it was I who broke his heart.

He turned on his heels and walked off without another word.

Things between Manda and I had been a bit awkward for the entire week after Darren's and it was mostly my fault. I was just so distraught over everything that had happened that I didn't know how to act or speak around her.

I missed her more than words could ever express but my pride and insecurity made it impossible for me to stop acting so stupid and tell her how I felt.