XY and Z

6: Wanting

     The next day Z was back and talking with his group of friends. The minute she entered the courtyard he looked over and saw her. The minute they made eye contact he began walking over to her. She was so nervous he was paying full attention to her and she couldn't even keep eye contact with him. There was so much fluttering going on inside her that she might just puke. He stopped inches in front of her, normally she wouldn't let someone get so physically close to her.

     Before she knew he swung his arm over her shoulders. It was awesome to know that he liked her  but it wasn't right if he was doing all this while having a girlfriend already. she leaned on him, it was a bad idea and she didn't really trust him yet. She didn't really know much about Z come to think of it.

     "I need to ask you about something." she requested Z.

     " Ask away." he whispered. She really didn't want to ruin the day for them but she needed to know the truth, if he really was what she thought or if it was a misunderstanding.

     " You already have a girlfriend don't you?" she stammered. He sighed confirming what she thought.

     " And you cheated on her with M didn't you?" she asked. Now he ran a frustrated hand through his hair and took a step back with eyes cast down at the ground.

     " Yeah I  do have a girlfriend, but I'm fixing to break up with her. She's just never around and she never calls anymore." Z muttered while avoiding eye contact. He was lying she could tell, he did have a girlfriend but he wasn't going to break up with the girl. So now he was taken, a cheater and a liar.

     She wanted to turn around get back on the bus and make the driver take her home and just cry. She wanted to be angry for herself and for M. Z gently put his hands on her shoulders and looked up at her.

     "I will break up with her. Ok?" He reassured her, but it was useless. She look him in the eye and no matter how much she wanted to believe him she couldn't. He pulled her in for a hug and she melted. She took comfort from the hug because she still had feelings for him, even if he was toxic. She had to get out now.

      Over the next few days she fought and struggled with her emotions. She tried to avoid him, yet she went to the same spot in the courtyard every morning with her best friend and M. Z would come over and sit next to her and chat like he was still everything that she wanted. She tried so hard to distance herself emotionally from him everyday but he kept giving her hugs and flirting with her. Most of the time she didn't know how to respond to him so she just ignored him or gave minimal effort in their conversations.

     Z kept turning up the charm, the hugs, the flirting, and just kept doing things that made her heart melt. He would put his head on her shoulder, smile at her and whisper "Hello Darling". His freckled face and hair was orange like fall leaves. She was trapped and she knew it, she practically read the warning label and drank anyway.

     you have to stop him! tell him to stop! she thought. If you don't tell him to stop he's going to use you! Stop being shy, Z and you were never going to happen! her head screamed. Her heart pounded fast and hard at the thought of ending up like M, heartbroken and depressed over someone who didn't deserve her. Yet she let him hug her and rest his arm on her shoulders everyday.

     She hoped and prayed that one day he would ask her out and be a good guy. That will never happen, get real! she thought. Ignoring his advances wasn't enough, pulling away from his hugs was futile, if she was really going get him off of her she would have to make it clear and soon. Now it seemed like she couldn't go anywhere without him being in sight. He found them at break and joined in on conversations, which she liked but she couldn't help but think that he had was just trying win her over. At this point she didn't want a relationship with him, not really. she found herself not wanting him to be her friend either because now she was starting to feel unsafe.

     In the days to follow she didn't talk to him and she didn't keep to her regular schedule of hanging out with her best friend and M. She wanted to make a clean break because that he wouldn't break up with his girlfriend. She didn't want him to either, she didn't want any relationship to end because of her. She didn't want to be that selfish person causing drama everywhere she went.

     Everyday Z would find her and swing his arm over her shoulders and it felt... great. It shouldn't feel good, she was enabling his cheating. Later that week he started wrapping both his arms around her waist every morning. She knew this was getting out of hand and if she didn't say something to him soon it wouldn't be good for her. Every time he wrapped his arms around her she started feeling bad because he was cheating on her and his girlfriend. She was suppose to be distancing herself from him, instead she was getting more attached and it made her even more unsafe. She was officially caught in his trap that wasn't going to let go.