Prologue

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I had never felt such disappointment and pure heartache as I did now, staring at his empty space, knowing the chances I would see him again were close to nothing. And I had tried so hard not to break then.

But I had only to see my best friend Maddie's concerned face, and I started to cry. Silent, wrecking sobs that tore at my chest.

And I heard her say, almost as if from a distance, "Julie, what's wrong?"

She put her arms around me and pulled me closer. "He didn't come, did he?"

I shook my head, and she just let me cry there until I couldn't anymore.

When the world seemed to calm down, and no one was around me to see, I sat down with my back to my bedroom wall. My knees were bent at my chest, and I cradled my face in the space between them.

I thought about him, for so long at a time that I couldn't separate the memories.

His green eyes were narrowing at me, that white smile flashing. He was teasing me again, telling me how much he needed me. And then he was jealous, angry that I wasn't looking at him alone.

Now he laughed. And then he took my hand and moved a lock of hair away from my eyes. Tucked it behind my ear. "Julie, you're pretty today," he would say.

He was so close.

Suddenly he was leaving. Tall form moving with a baseball bat in hand. His cap was snug over his light brown curls, and the movements of his muscles under the crisp shirt were careful.

"Emmett! You left something."

He came to me with a smile. "What will I do without you?"

And now, against that wall, I asked myself the same thing. Staring off into space and thinking that I would have to get up somehow.

... And he hadn't even said goodbye.

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