BROKEN

Hotel Room Thoughts

When we got to the house, my mom told me to quickly pack one bag so that we could flee the scene as soon as possible.
 
"What about the rest of my things?"
   
"We'll come back for them some other time." she said as she quickly packed a bag of her own. I shoved my makeup bag, charger, and a few outfits into a bag and ran back to the taxi. We ended up at a nearby hotel and checked in. My mother pulled a wad of cash out of her purse, a stack of a hundred dollar bills.
 
"Hooyo where did you get all this money?" I whispered to her.
 
"A smart woman always keeps some cash for herself, in case of an emergency like this." she paid for the room and a bellhop guided us to our room. I laid on the bed while my mother went into the bathroom to freshen up. I plugged my phone into it's charger and three texts automatically popped up.
 
"Hello?"

"Damn you stay ignoring me."
 
"What I did wrong this time?" I let out a huge sigh, it's not easy dating a fuckboy. I'm not sure if it was my obsession with romance novels, love songs, and love poems, or if it was the fact that I had been crushing on Fuad years before he even acknowledged his existence, but I was in love with the boy. I remember the days that I used to talk about him nonstop to Tasneem, I would have never thought that we had gotten this far. Fuad was very handsome, he had brown skin, a beautiful smile, and hair that he always kept very short. Fuad was a quiet boy that never caused much trouble. He was the youngest of five sisters so he wasn't disrespectful to girls like the other guys at school were. He always dressed and smelled nice, he was practically every girl's dream. About a year ago I had missed the bus and was stuck at school without a ride, I was sitting on a bench outside when Fuad came out and walked towards me.
 
"Why are you here so late?" He asked me. At first I couldn't believe that he had been talking to me. I mean, I was a sophomore and he was a senior. Not to mention, every Somali girl in Columbus was practically begging for his attention.
   
"I missed the bus."
 
"Ooh, I've been there before."
 
"Yeah." the conversation suddenly got very awkward.
 
"Your parents aren't picking you up?"
 
"No, they're working until tonight."
 
"So you were just going to sit here until nighttime waiting for your parents?"
 
"I kinda don't have any other options." He took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me.

"Put your address in, I'll take you home." My heart pounded a thousand times per second. I knew this wasn't a smart idea, my parents would kill me if they found out I was riding in a car alone with a guy. But I had never done anything bad prior to that, and life is all about taking risks right? I punched my address in and handed the phone back to him.
 
"You live in my neighborhood, how convenient." He said with a slight smile. It was beautiful.
 
"Wait, how do I know I can trust you?" I asked.
 
 "I don't know honestly, I guess it's just a risk you're going to have to take..unless you want to sit here until it gets dark." He said as he started walking. "The choice is yours." I grabbed my bag and speed walked to catch up to him.
   
"So what's your name?" He asked as I got into the car.
 
"Warsan."
   
"That's an OG Somali name, I like it."
 
"Thank you, and yours?" I pretended as if I didn't already know.
 
"Fuad."
 
"That's a nice name too."
 
"Yeah it's ight, but it's also basic. Warsan is unique. You're the first Warsan I've ever met and probably the last. Fuad's come and go but Warsan is memorable, she leaves an impression."
   
"You could possibly be reading too much into this." I said while giggling.

"Maybe, I tend to do that a lot. I overanalyze and exaggerate things. But enough about me, what kind of music do you like?"
 
"All types."
   
"Anything?"
   
"Yup." He turned on the radio and When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars blared through the speakers.
   
"I love this song!" He said excitedly as he started singing along. He looked at me and saw me laughing.
 
 "Are you laughing at my singing?" He asked.
 
"No you just don't seem like the type to like this kind of song."
 
"I don't like it I love it, plus I like all types of music from rap to pop to rock to country to r&b and everything in between. I guess we're similar in that way huh."
 
"Yeah I guess we are." I said as I flipped the station. Mirrors by Justin Timberlake came on.
 
"This is my favorite song." I said while turning it up.
 
"Can you relate to it or something?"
 
"Not really, it's just a cute song."
 
"And you're a cute girl." He said. That was probably the cheesiest pick up line in history but at time my heart was racing and I was sweating buckets.

"Thank you." I said awkwardly
 
"No problem, but do me a favor." He said as he stopped the car in front of my house.
 
"Yeah?"
 
"Put your number in." He said as he handed me his phone. I did it without hesitation.
   
"This was fun." He said as I unbuckled my seatbelt.
 
"Much more fun than riding the bus."
 
"Yeah we should do it again sometime, I'll text you tonight."
 
"Alright and thanks for the ride." I said as I stepped out of the car.
 
"It was my pleasure beautiful." He started the car back up and drove off. I unlocked my front door and ran into my room. This was the best day of my life. I took out my phone to call Tasmeen and tell her all about it but something inside of me told me to wait. I laid on my bed and replayed the car ride in my head until my phone rang. It was a number I hadn't seen before.

"Hello?"

"Hey what's up?"
 
"Who is this?"
 
"Ouch! You forgot about me already?"
 
"Fuad?"
 
"This is him." my heart started racing again. The beginning of the phone call was awkward but the uncomfortableness had eventually faded away. We talked about anything and everything for two hours straight that night and eventually every night for the following months. We went on lunch dates, videochatted, and had countless car rides home for those next few months. I had fallen in love. I looked at my phone as I reminisced on the days when things were much simpler, I longed for them.
   
"I'm not mad at you love." I lied in my reply to him.
   
"Then why haven't you talked to me all day?"
 
"You won't believe the day I had, call me tomorrow and I'll tell you all about it."
    
"Okay baby love you goodnight."
    
"Love you more." I went back to his snapchat story and rewatched it. Maybe those girls were just his friends from campus? Fuad had been different since he started college, to the point that he constantly had me questioning the condition of our relationship. But out of fear of losing him, I had been keeping my mouth shut. I wished that I had somebody to go to for advice but it would be way too late to tell Tasneem about Fuad and I. She would be furious and hurt that I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I snapped back to reality when I realized how long my mother had been in the bathroom. I knocked on the bathroom door, no response. I cracked it opened and saw her bent over the toilet vomiting. I ran to her and held back her hair until she was finished.
   
"Hooyo are you sick?"
 
"I don't know maybe it's just stress." she looked up at me with tears streaming down her face. Mascara was streaming down her face and her eyes were puffy and red, she must have been crying this whole time.
 
"How could he do this to me?" she asked in between sobs. I didn't know what to say. She had been acting tough this whole time, I knew that this situation was killing her. "I've been trying to give him a baby for years. It's not my fault. I tried my best, I really did." She said as she cried on the bathroom floor. I couldn't help but to burst out in tears myself. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry on my shoulder. And I prayed to God to heal her broken heart.