Lost Stars

xvix. solstice

Jack was in the grasps of unconsciousness as he glided through the realm of nighttime, bringing along the immature curiosity that he always had. His consciousness was rather dormant, but it never ceased to claw its way to the surface. And suddenly, the slow transition to reality felt like being lifted into a magical and mystical blur of light that grasped you with fingers that could be compared to the softest feather that he wasn't aware were lifting him until he skimmed the surface. Jack took the few moments to revel in the peace that his life was rather short of and cherished the inability to worry in this realm of nothing, but a distinct sob pierced through him like a blade and made him rush towards the light.

He slowly opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was a rectangular paneled light that he never have thought to see again. Slowly, his hearing came back and brought with them the sounds of the heart monitor's beats that caused him a shiver of anguish. But next to return to him was his sense of touch, and they felt a warmth that comforted him, but slow drops of tears that tore him apart.

He slowly tilted his head tiredly and saw a heartbreaking scene. Elle was clutching at his hand as if he was going to disappear the moment she let go. The intensity of her tears was like a hurricane that could fill a city with her despair and hurting. Her forehead was laid upon his hand that she intertwined with hers, and it almost seemed like her silent but plentiful prayers were forming a vivid image. And her breathing was uneven and reflected how much she was drained of every good emotion that he knew she was very much abundant of.

He couldn't take any more of it as it hurt him just to see someone so dear to him suffer like this. He twitched his hand and raised her head up by placing two loving fingers beneath her chin and turning her to him. There was no trace of her already very minimal make up on her face, but the tears were like rivers down it, and Jack couldn't fathom how much he wanted to take all her pain away. He soon moved his frail hand to the side of her cheek and swiped her tears away, but how he wished that her sadness would disappear with them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His heart shattered at the trembling of her voice as the tears continued to flow down and drop to the floor. Her lips quivered and struggled to even form those words he wished to never hear from her. She took his hands between hers once more and landed a chaste kiss on it before placing it back down but not letting go.

His mind was still swirling, but everything started to materialize and sink in. He could now smell the extreme level of sanitation in the room. He could hear the heart monitors more clearly now. He now noticed that his body was no longer in the grey sweatpants that he vaguely remembered himself wearing but was now in the conventional gown that a hospital patient wore. He noticed that his bed was too good to be a hospital, but his memory reminded him of his parents' incessant need to give him comfort in such a hard time. And finally, his eyes registered his love sitting on a chair beside his bed with bloodshot eyes and a quivering body.

The painful memory kept replaying itself in Elle's head in a torturous and never ending loop. She remembered screaming his name painfully, when she saw him roll down the stairs and land on the floor. She remembered the worry that flooded her and the curiosity of what caused it, and she immediately called his parents. They came within minutes, along with an ambulance, and brought him in it. His parents stayed with Elle and waited for her to let everything sink in before she reached for the petrifying letter and read it. She also remembered that it felt like a stab in the heart,  when she read it. The piece of paper had test results for cancer, and it read positive. She looked at the date when the test was taken, and she finally understood that his multiple absences last week were more than just for the preparation of his parents' banquet. And only then did Helen confess that his sickness was connected to his condition, and not because of bathing in the rain.