Boyfriend ( Justin Beiber Love Story )

Chapter 6 ❤

Tonight is the party. I dont know what to do. Ive never been to a party, let alone invited to one. Why did Justin have to force me to come? What do you even wear? Do you wear ball gowns? No, thats being stupid. Whats with my questions? Maybe just a dress, I guess. But I feel fat in everything.... I really don't want to go this party, I would honestly much rather stay home and cry in my room. But Justin wants me to come, to prove a point to Liz. Im so scared to go. I know something will happen. I can feel it in my gut. Every Time I do something, something bad happens. It always does and I hate it!

I still don't know if Justin has realised my issues. They are quiet obvious, all though I haven't told him anything about it. Just in case you know. I know, that one day I am going to open up to him. I would have to let it all out and go. It could go 2 ways. He could hurt me and tell every one, or he could be understanding and actually stick by me. But who knows. It Justin for god sakes. And I never really plan on telling anyone my secrets. I cant even keep them to myself sometimes. Im just going to leave it with me.

Its been 2 days since I have given him a chance. To be quiet honest, Ever since the bullies came in my life, they stole all my happiness. My confidence was taken away. Everything that made me who I was, was being snatched away from me. I felt like I had nothing left, so I tried to create an identity for myself and this is what happened. I made my self sick. I was searching for that girl I used to be, but found a completely different one. I found the dark and twisted side. The side that could harm anyone who gets in her way, The one who would punish her own body because others didn't accept of her. The side where she pushed her family away. That was me. This is me. Im broken. I don't even think I can be fixed. As would Demi say, You never really can fix a heart. And now to have someone come back you did this to you, is hard. Usually, people would turn the other way and never accept there apology but, for some reason I didn't. I think it was because I wanted my old happy self back. And to find it. I had to go back to the people who took it.

I walked around my room frantically. I don't even know what I am doing. I grabbed some black skinny jeans, a nice shirt and a jean jacket. Okay... This is stupid. I changed into a a floral dress. Okay now I feel overdressed. I felt like a little kid. These clothes are from the kids section cause nothing else fits me. How sad? I cant believe what I have done to myself. I can see what has happened and what it looks like but I cant stop. I really cant. I wish I could look at things, like I used to but I cant. I cant anymore.

***

I ended up going in a shirt and a back skirt. Nothing to special. I went for light make up, mascara and eyeliner, and I left my hair natural. My hair naturally is straight, but has beautiful waves on the bottom. All though it falls out like crazy, I cant go without hair on my head.

I waited for Justin at the front of my house. He wanted to pick me up. I thought it was irrelevant and kind of stupid, but I kind of knew why. He probably thought I wouldn't come. So maybe thats why he was so eager to pick me up.... What if he is planning something? Like pick me up then throw me out on the streets in a place I have never been before?

He's really clingy with me to be honest. Today at school, he wouldn't leave me alone really. In class, then on our way to class, lunch, it was cute, but at the same time it was getting annoying. I know he is trying to make it up to me, but I don't know.

I saw the headlights of the car coming towards my house. I knew it was Justin so I got up and waited a little till he drove in my driveway. dad was pretty shocked when I asked him, if I could go. I mean I don't blame him. He knows I don't go out anywhere. He looked a little uneasy but let me go to the party. Oh how I wished he said no. But you don't get what you want now do you?

" You just going to stand there, come on get in the car." Justin said. I nodded then got into the front seat. placing my seat belt on.

" You look beautiful" Even though I don't agree with him, I took the compliment. Wait.....I just cant believe my bully, told me I was beautiful.

" Uhhh... Thanks." We drove in awkward silence. I kept playing with my phone and fingers. There was nothing on the radio either. I knew we were almost there because I could hear the music from the car.

" Just stay with me. Nothing will happen, I promise and theres nothing you should worry about either." Justin said before he parked the car.

" Thanks Justin." He looked at me, giving me a smile. I smiled back then continued to play with my fingers.

" My pleasure beautiful." He hopped out the car. Okay that was the second time... Does he think I'm going to fall on my knees and do what he says because he gives compliments? I don't know about everyone else, but it doesn't work with me.

I sat in the seat for a while and took a few deep breaths. I was scared. Not because this was my first party, but because I know whats going to happen. Maybe I should stop panicking a little. I mean this is my first party, I shouldn't be spending it by panicking. I should dance, have fun! Its what a party is for!

" You going to come out, or do I have to drag you out." I got out the car. I really wanted to turn around and run home. My leg had a bruise mark from last time. It looked so ugly and made my legs look weird with the colour of skin and then this blotch of purple. So not attractive I say.

We walked in through the front door. Her house was massive. And.... Dirty. There was a smell of alcohol and sweat.. and vomit. This isn't what I thought a party is. There were people kissing, people dancing dirty, drinking. It was more like a hooker house if you asked me. Im not surprised though. If its Liz, then this is what you would get. Trashy. Slutty. Justin moved a little closer to me. Not face to face, but by closer I mean our arms were touching. I moved a little to the side. Not wanting to touch him. I have an issue with soace when it come to me and my body. I think he was trying to either keep me at his side, or try to make a move on me. But how would I know. I don't know anything about boys and how they feel because I have never experienced stuff like that.

" Chaz and Ryan are here, there in the backyard, Do you want to go to them or?" Justin shouted. The loud music was making it a little difficult to understand and communicate. But I sort of knew what he was saying.

" I dont really mind."

" Okay stay near me." Justin intwined his fingers with mine and walked in front of me. My heart was beating fast. I wanted to let go. I don't want to hold his hand. Not now, not ever! I slowly tried to move my hand out of his, and luckily succeeded. I folded my arms tight so it would happen again. He gave me a glance over his shoulder and then turned back to walking. I don't want him to think that he can just hold my hand and take over me. Because I don't forgive that easy.

" The man is here!" Chaz yelled. I could smell his alcohol breathe from where I was. This is not my scene. I really just want to go home. All these drunk people, I know this will end badly.

****

After a few drinks... Well not for me for Justin really. He really didn't have a clue what was going on around him. I just sat on the a stair with my diet coke watching all these school kids make a disgusting reputation for them selves. I felt out of my place. I really wanted to go home. I thought I would have fun... Well actually I thought that I was going to be attacked, but I didn't know I would end up sitting here being bored. I looked at the time on my phone. It was 9:30. I guess I could go home. Surprisingly I didn't see Liz. She's probably doing someone upstairs. Since thats typical of her. Justin doesn't what she is. And to be honest, he deserves better. She... Well a slut. And even though he hooks up, he isn't up to that level that she's on. Luckily, I want to save it for marriage. But enough talk about sex and other stuff. I want to go home.

I looked around for my bag, and looked for a place to put the cup. Well anywhere really the house is trashed. I put my cup on the stair I was sitting on and began to leave.

" Where do you think your going Julia?" My heart dropped. I knew who this was. Liz. And I defiantly know that she isn't going to just walk away and leave like I'm not here. She saw me and that means something will be done.