Letters To You

6.0

Dear Park Seung Ah,

After our schedule, we passed by Lotte World today. That reminded me of the swan boat ride we both shared. We were nothing but awkward and cold towards each other. Then your next ride, with Joshua hyung, even if you two were still far away, I saw. I saw him plant a kiss on your forehead and I saw how quickly your cheeks turned. I was jealous, but I didn't know it then. I looked away and Hoshi hyung noticed how I acted and asked if anything was wrong. I told him it was nothing.

Almost the entire day then, the three of us hung out together. It felt like I was only the third wheel because you only seemed to be having fun with Joshua hyung without noticing if I lagged a step behind or not. It was like I never existed to the both of you at all.

No matter how fun the rides were or how beautiful the fireworks shone the sky back then, I'll always have bitter feelings for that day. I never knew I could feel jealousy until I saw the two of you two.

I just want to crumple this paper up and throw it across the floor, but I won't do that. I'm moving on. I should let it flow down so it'll be gone. These feelings, I mean.

I made a promise, didn't I? I said I'd be able to smile one day and see you as a friend and only a friend. Well, I still haven't kept my promise. Two years later, that promise hangs on a piece of thread, unsure whether it'll break or not.

I'm not supposed to make promises I'll never know if I can keep, but...

I promise, Seung Ah, that I'll move on. If I don't, I'll apologize. Over and over until I can finally stop doing so.

~Author's Notes~

I don't know if this is still enjoyable or nah but this is just Vernon reliving all those memories, good and bad, of him and Seung Ah. I hope those feelings you felt when you read Under One Roof somehow return as you read this :)

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung