Letters To You

7.0

Dear Park Seung Ah,

Do you know what song started playing when I started to write this letter to you? Guess.

If your guess was DAY6's Letting Go, you are correct.

This song should have existed back then. I would have given up on you earlier then. That's what I think, at least.

놓아... (let go)

놓아... (let go)

놓아... (let go)

So you can smile someday.

I should learn from this song. I'll let go because there's no use holding you back. All those times, we were only cold and aloof with each other. I remember the day I found you you were dating Joshua hyung. I just wanted to break a car with a baseball bat.

I didn't. I know that if I did, I might get into a messy scandal that will be almost impossible to escape from. I don't want that to happen, especially since that year was when we just debuted.

That stupid time... I barged into your work area and was mad, I wasn't sure why, really, but I took it out on you. That was... that was also the day I confessed my feelings for you, in such a rough manner.

That was never how I wanted to confess to you. I always imagined how I would confess. I would call you over to a café that I booked for one hour, but without you knowing that, and make it seem like it's closed. Then you would text me why it was closed and why I wasn't there but I'd only text you back, telling you to go inside. When you do, I'll turn on the lights and it'll reveal me standing there in a fancy suit with my hair fixed and everything and I'll confess to you.

I knew... I knew I'll never confess to you that way the day those three words blurted out due to rage. I asked you to give me a chance, something I never did before and then that one time in the hospital when Ga Eul's sister... adopted? I wasn't really sure, the story I heard was really messed up. 

But yeah, we were there in the hospital because Ga Eul noona and Hoshi hyung had something to do with the entire incident, so I was just sitting in those plastic chairs they provided in the hospital. I remember seeing Joshua hyung run off somewhere, probably the hospital's canteen or something. Then, out of nowhere, you sat next to me, without another warning.

I'll forever remember those words of yours.

"I'll think about it."

Four little words, and it made me smile thinking my fantasies might come true. Was it possible? All those things I imagined doing with you? Of course, I didn't keep my hopes up too high.

Then, I waited. Like the idiot I was back then.

~Author's Notes~

DAY6's Letting Go made me cry when I heard the song and read the lyrics. Then when it appeared on one of the GOT7 fanfics after their breakup, I cried even more because one sad thing + one sad song = Han River in my room.

EXO's Promise made me cry too because it relates to Ga Eul and Hoshi's story, also how EXO promised all us EXO-Ls that they'll continue doing their best despite the things that has happened to them, and we were always the reason they were still strong. They also told us to trust them, like, I cried so hard that night.

It was a good thing I was alone in my room.

Okay, that's it for my unwanted tears regarding songs, Kimichies. I'll see you in the next chapter :)

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung