Forever Yours, Elliot

Chapter 24 - Tainted

Have updated this twice today as the last chapter was a filler.

This one is slightly more interesting. Let me know if you like my story so far. Give me ideas on who you'd "cast" in my story and any potential storylines you'd have the story head in. I have a clear idea, but I'd like to hear what some of you think!

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My counselling session was great, it brought me a lot of clarity in regards to my control issues. I felt I needed to have control of myself so that I couldn’t be seen as weak, but when I’d been through the really hard moments I’d told myself to be strong so much that I barely let the emotions out.

During the weekend we helped Julie and Mason move. Matt had hung around after I left, and I felt jealous. I also felt guilty for feeling that way. Matt didn’t belong to me in any way. But the way I felt knowing he was with someone elses family was enough to drive me insane.  He didn’t return until around 8pm. I sat at the kitchen table working on an English assignment when he walked through the front door.

“I’m exhausted!” He exclaimed, dramatically plonking himself down on the seat across from me.

I looked up briefly, he did look tired.

“You’ve not only helped a family move today, but you helped settle them in, of course your tired.” I said softly, looking back down at my assignment. Matt got up and walked into the kitchen. He flicked on the jug

“Coffee?” Matt asked

“No Thanks, I might actually go to bed” I said packing up my books.

I felt like I was suffocating in his presence. I had to escape now before I gave in to lust, and neglected the true reality of the situation. I looked over at matt before I stood up, he gave me a tired smile and continues making his coffee. I walked up the stairs and in to my bedroom. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at it, I had an unread message which surprised me because I hadn’t heard it at all.

Thanks for every thing Ellie – Julie 7.45pm

 

No problems Jul, It was Matt more than anything though – Elliot 8.15pm

 

He’s a great guy for sure. He’s promised to come play with Mason tomorrow – 8.16pm

 

Oh, that’s great! – Elliot 8.17pm

 

Was I a bad person for the ball of jealousy in my stomach? The one that worried Matt was moving on. Maybe he’d seen something in Julie he liked, maybe he yearned for the love of an instant family.

Probably, did that make it any easier to accept, knowing that was why I felt that way? Not at all.

I managed to get a few hours of sleep, the dreams, though not as intense anymore still bothered me. I woke at 3am and was unable to fall back asleep. My body was like jelly and I felt sick. My heart began racing, it felt like a horse was galloping on my chest. I couldn’t hardly breath, my clothes although baggy were constricting me. I sat up in bed and flicked the light on.