The Ides of July // Loki - Book 1 ✓

Chapter 49: Disappointed

ANNA'S BLUE EYES LOCK onto Loki's emerald ones, a mixture of shock, joy, and fear dancing across her features. She loves him, that much she knows, but she didn't expect to hear those words from him. No, however much she hoped for them, after he hesitated in the corridor - after what she learned about his complicated upbringing - she assumed the worst. Unfairly, she believed Loki's heart to be frozen, slow to thaw, much like his Jotunn heritage.

"Please, Loki," she pleads, "You don't have to do this."

He stares at her for a moment, memorizing the look of concern on her face. Her blue eyes are tinged with grey, emphasized by a rim of navy around the irises. If only he could stare into those eyes without ceasing. Standing, he takes her hand ever-so-gently and pulls her to her feet. Thor approaches with Fandral, but Anna holds out a hand to stop them from coming any closer.

"I love you," Loki tells her, stepping closer to press his lips firmly against hers. It's brief - too brief - and he breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against hers. "I cannot bear to lose you."

"You're not losing me," Anna insists, cupping his face with her hands. She brushes a strand of his long black hair away from his face. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"You do not understand," he murmurs, closing his eyes and relishing the feel of her hands against his face. "You cannot understand."

Thor speaks up, "Then help us, brother. Help us understand this madness."

Loki flashes a look of hatred at Thor, his fist clenching at his side as he straightens. Anna grabs his arm, preventing him from lunging at his brother's throat. Still, she can't hold his full strength and she's jerked along with him when he rushes toward Thor.

"You cannot possibly comprehend this," Loki seethes, inches from Thor's face. "All my life, everything was promised to me only to be taken away, and now...now I have to watch it happen all over again. I cannot - no, I will not - watch the woman I love perish. I will do whatever it takes, even if I must kill the whole of Asgard to retrieve that blasted cube and return it to Earth so they do not take her away from me."

His voice breaks from emotion, and he turns back to Anna who is watching with wide eyes.

"Please forgive me," he tells her. "Please--"

Odin's voice interrupts him, and everyone's attention snaps to the doorway where Odin stands. Frigga trails behind him, along with Lady Sif, Volstagg, and Hogun.

"Loki," the Allfather's voice rings with disappointment, a sound that sends shivers down Anna's spine. "What is the meaning of this?"

The fallen prince steps in front of Anna, one arm clinging to her while he positions his body as a barrier between her and Odin. Frigga moves forward to approach him, but Odin throws out a hand to stop her.

"Where is it?" Loki growls.

"I do not know of what you speak," Odin begins.

"WHERE IS IT?" Loki roars. "Do not play games with me, old man."

The king sighs, "It is hidden. I removed it from the vault until you could be proven trustworthy with your freedom."

"So you assumed I'd fail," he croaks, his green eyes sparking with rage. "Once again, you did not believe in me - you expected me to disappoint you. Why am I not surprised? As a son, as a ruler, and now as a man - I can do nothing right in the eyes of Odin, the great and mighty Allfather. Time and time again, you have proven I can never be good enough."

"No, Loki," Odin snaps. "You are not good enough. Not anymore. You have shown on numerous occasions that you cannot be trusted. Even after your mother begged for me to spare your life - even after your release from the dungeons - still you hold a grudge, still you act in such foolish ways, and still you place your brother, your family, and the entirety of Asgard at risk. You have squandered the only chance at freedom you will ever be granted."

Anna's heart feels as if it is breaking at the sound of Odin's words. She aches for Loki, for the approval and acceptance he seeks. Frigga adores her son, that much is certain, but Odin's words will only drive a wedge further between father and son. What's more, she knows that Loki will continue to resent Thor, even though his brother loves him unconditionally.

Without warning, her fingers grow weak in Loki's grasp. It feels as if her tongue grows heavy in her mouth, like a weight prevents her from speaking. Struggling to gasp for oxygen, her lungs are no longer able to fill to the full capacity, and her heartbeat skips a beat whilst the room starts to spin around her. She tries to focus on Loki - on his tall, lithe figure clad in his green and black Asgardian armor - but her eyes blur. Suddenly, her legs turn to jello and her muscles are no long able to hold her upright as the weakness spreads through her body like acid, eating her body from the inside out.

"L-Loki," she mumbles before collapsing to the ground.

Now Playing: "So Bad" by Brandon Skeie (EDWYNN x TIKAL X Spirix Remix)

*****
Author's Note

Thanks to ariannarjk for the song recommendation - this chapter is dedicated to you! I've been listening to it on repeat, and it's the perfect Lanna song. I've attached it to this chapter.

Comment + vote!

x