Falling Down (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 20

"Your smiling,...." The words were neither a question or a fact.

"I guess so," I sighed. Walking over to my night side table I took my pony out and began to brush my hair out for the night.

Slightly more directed the question came, "Packing your things?"

Looking up I slowly shook my head, "Nope.... Not tonight."

There was a pause before she finally asked, "Then why are you here?"

"Because here," I replied in a dry indignant tone as I glanced about my cell. "Well here is where I feel like being at the present time."

Lori stood there silently for several minutes playing with her bottom lip before she eventually as she looked at me. "Well... Good night Jenna."

I stood there for a moment, seemingly on pause, my hand mid stroke through my hair. What the fuck was that all about. Where was the snarky bitch comment. The accusations and resentment that accompanied every single one of our conversations. The very fact I was here should have sent Lori into a spastic rage but it didn't.

It took me a second before I moved. I think somewhere deep down inside I already knew. I didn't want to but I couldn't stop myself either. Hanging onto that one last vain of hope I walked to my cell door just close enough that I could see the stairwell leading to the bottom level where Lori's room was. Holding my breath I moved closer as I leaned forward just catching the the top of Lori's head as she walked down the last rung of stairs.

Closing my eyes I leaned against the door frame of my cell exhaling deeply. It shouldn't have mattered if Lori had gone to Ricks cell. I was with Shane and I was sure they would end up back together in the long run anyways. I just didn't want to see it with my own eyes.

The romantic in me wanted to secretly believe we were star crossed lovers somehow meant to be. That Rick would come and professing his love to me. Take me in his arms and ask me to stay. Declaring our love with a passionate kiss Rick would never let me go again. I knew it was far fetched and about as ridiculous as Hollywood movies got but I needed that one small break. At least God could grant me the grace of not seeing them together in the next 12 hours before we left.

Pushing off of the door frame I was exhausted and ready for bed. Turning into my room the sounds of voices drifted up through the silence of the prison catching my attention. My feet stilled as the gentle southern tones of Ricks voice reached out wrapping around my heart and crushing it.

I couldn't hear what was being said but I didn't need to either.  I watched as Rick stepped out from hallway walking towards Lori, a smile upon his lips. Through tearful eyes I couldn't look away as he drew her into his arms kissing her. I couldn't breath as his hands ran up into her hair as he deepened the kiss. By the time Rick took Lori's hand leading her towards her cell I could hardly stand. A single tear fell from my eye as I watched Rick drop the privacy sheet at the front of the cell. A single kerosine lamp in the cell lit their shadowy figures as Rick took Lori in his arms kissing her again before he lowered her into the bed. My heart broke dropping into my chest as the lamp was turned off plunging the cell into darkness.

I stood still and unmoving for some time as my minds eye imagined what was going on. In a sick way punishing myself. Standing their like some sort of a weirdo listening for the sound of pleasure. It was all I could think about as I laid awake for hours in bed just praying that I would just sleep. Not that with the dawn of the next day I was able to think of anything else. A constant reel of a porno staring the two of them on an endless track.

Going through my things in my room I crammed clothing only into my bag. Needing to get as far away from the prison and Rick as I could I didn't want to bring anything that might cause a lingering memory. No longer able to pay the price for loving him I couldn't wait to leave.