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A/N
Hey, sorry for the short chapter again but I just wanted to end this part of the story. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, finally, Raulson is starting to happen. Xoxo
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{Sarah's POV}
"IT WASN'T RUDE AT ALL. STOP ,SARAH. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING FOR MANDY INSTEAD OF ARGUING WITH SOMEONE WHO'S JUST TRYING TO HELP. YOU STUPID ASSHOLE." As Lily finished her, sentence, I felt my heart break in thousands of pieces. Each word she said was like a different stab. I instantly started running and when I realized, my face was wet and I couldn't see anything. My eyes were watering more than they ever have watered in my whole life. I haven't felt this before. It hurt more than I could even imagine. I was locked at the bathroom and I hadn't any idea of what I was gonna do. It was one of the worst things that I've felt in my life. I couldn't believe in what she said that to me. " I'm such a disaster. I ruined everything, again. I'm always disappointing everyone. In just one night, I've got in trouble more than all my friends ever have gotten. I'm a shame to my family, I'm a shame to my friends, I'm a shame to humanity." I repeated to myself and when I realized, I felt a cold gillette cutting my skin and then my arm was covered with blood. The next thing I knew was that my arm was full scars.
It was what I deserved. Pain. I thought I was doing the right thing. I had to punish myself for everything I've done. It wasn't the first time. I wasn't a starter, I knew how to hide everything. No one could find out what I did. I was very good at hiding it. I did it because I thought it was the only way I could redeem myself to the world. The only way I could redeem only single mistake I've ever committed.
I was doing more cuts on my arms when I heard a knock on the bathroom's door. "Sarah, please, come out. Lily is crying. She's worried. Please baby, don't make everything harder." Mom said. "Is Lily crying? That's ridiculous because she was the one who was throwing shade at me." I replied her. "Sarah, come out now and drop off the attitude. You're wrong. I don't wanna see you acting this way again. You'll come out and you'll help Lily with her cry. Sarah Catharine Paulson, you better do what I'm saying." Mom said in a rude tone. "Gimme a minute." I replied. "You got 60 seconds from now." She said and exited de bathroom's door. I started cleaning up all the mess I did. It was a mix of my tears with my blood. I couldn't believe I did that to myself again when I saw my pale arm full of red and vivid scars. When I finished the cleaning, I exited the bathroom and went to my room, where Lily was.
{Lily's POV}
I was crying on Sarah's bed when I heard a noise. It was Sarah. Her eyes were red. Very red. "Hi. Can I hug you?" She said with an awkward smile. I just opened my arms, signalizing that she was allowed to hug me. She hugged me tightly and for 1 minute it seemed like everything was ok. It seemed like nothing happened. "I-I'm s-so so-sorry Lil." I could hear Sarah stuttering between her cry. "I'm so sorry, Sar." I replied as tears started forming in my eyes. For the next 5 minutes, we just stood there, hugging each other. I didn't mean to hurt Sarah's feelings the way I did. I just wanted her to stop with the rudeness. Just that. When we finally pulled away from de hug, I saw some scars on Sarah's arms. Holy shit. She was harming herself in the bathroom. I couldn't believe she did it. I couldn't believe I made her do what she has done.
"Sar-" I said holding her arm. "No Lil, not now." she cut me off. "Ok, but we'll talk about this later. Please, put a coat or something, don't let your mother see this." I said and she nodded. "Thank you." She said and went to the living room, where Mandy, Pedro and Ms. Clarke were. I followed her. "Uhm... Pedro... I guess you should go home." Amanda said awkwardly. "Err... Yes... Goodbye Sarah, Ms. Clarke thank you for being so comprehensive." He said and left the house. "Ok girls, now, sleep. Everything is gonna be ok, we just need some rest. We'll buy Amanda some pregnancy tests as soon as possible." Catharine said and went to her room. "I guess we should go to your room." I said looking at Sarah. "Yeah." She replied carelessly. Then we all went to Sarah's room and everyone but me slept. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened on that night. I couldn't stop thinking about Sarah's arm. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wasn't able to see my precious little Sarah harming herself. She didn't deserve that. And it was all my fault.
