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[ if anyone bothers to hear me explain as to why this took waaaay too long, there will be a pretty important message at the end that I kinda just wanted to put out there. Enjoy reading my lovelies ♡ ]

-Jungkook-

Watching her walk away was the hardest part. It was as if every step she took further away from me the tension grew. Until our metaphoric rubber band simply broke.

That was when I knew it was too late.

In the cliché korean dramas i would have ran up to her. Grabbed her arm and turned her around, only to embrace her in my arms and apologize for ever letting her go in the first place.

But frankly I'm no Lee Min Ho.

With a heavy heart i left for my car. I couldn't scream her name and ask for mercy. For i knew, i would drag her deeper into this hell called my life with me.

I've caused her enough struggles already, I'm not worthy of her love.

Driving home i couldn't help but blast the radio in attempts to take me away from reality.

To bring me away from this world.

But than i realized.... Hee Young was my world. My get away from the practice room, the stage, the cameras. And now I can't even run to her.
______________________________________________________________________________

"So... why did she leave?" V asked me as i scrolled through the channels pretending everything was alright

"Its complicated" i said although i knew it wasnt.

"I was too much of an asshole to see how beautiful she is. Her heart is beautiful, she cared so much about me. And I never understood why. I never treated her like I should have. She deserves to be treated correctly, and I wasn't doing that since I was greedy. I just wanted her for myself..." I said running a hand through my hair

V looked at me apologetically

"Why" he asked quietly almost in a whisper (probably unsure if I wanted to talk about this or not).

"Her love scared me. Her love was so intense. With her i could genuinely feel happy. But it was clear she didnt feel the same with me recently. I almost forgot what her real smile looked like because i havent seen it in so long. Its a pity i couldnt give her half of what she gave me."

"Wow....thats deep man" V said making me let out a soft chuckle, not at what he said. But the fact that he knew exactly what to say, because my love for her was deep.

-Hee Young-

Walking into the cafe i immiedietly regreted it. Why did i even bother going to this coffee shop knowing this was where we first met.

Turning on my heel i was about to leave but i came in contact with someones chest.

"oh my gosh im sorry, i didnt see you there" i said without bothering to look up

"Hee Young?" A familiar voice says

Looking up i am welcomed with a smiling dimple boy

"Namjoon? What are you doing here?" I say trying to hide the fact that im on the verge of bawling my eyes out

"Oh, uhm just going out for a walk. You know, getting some fresh air aha" Namjoon said adjusting his turtle neck.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in a while. You should come over sometime with Jungkook so we can tease the hell out of you two and play some games" Namjoon asks. A part of me is thankful that he's oblivious to how Jungkook's and I's relationship has been recently. But at the same time I wish I had someone who understood me without needing to explain.

Mark. I've neglected my bestfriend so much these couple weeks.... the one person I could spend the night crying with (other than Jungkook but that's irrelevant at the moment) but not have to explain my whole life to.

I've lost everything.

My bestfriend, my "boyfriend"

Oh my gosh Hee Young, i've made such a big problem out of this whole not being official thing. Maybe Jungkook was annoyed with me and prayed underneath his breath everytime that I would leave and that he could be freed from my hell of a life.

My mind spun as i debated weather i should bawl my eyes out on namjoon's cream turtle neck or to just play it out as if nothing happened

Taking a long sigh i nodded

"Yeah... it's been a while has it aha. Time goes by when you're with the people you love i guess." I force my mouth to say.

Namjoon's mouth suddenly forming a small smile

"That's good to hear" he says patting my shoulder as if he was congratulating me

"Haha yeah... you know i should get going. But if you ever want to catch up don't hesitate to call me or something" smiling i walk away to God knows where but I had to leave namjoon before I let out the jar hidden deep inside my heart waiting to be released aka my feelings.

-

Plz read homies

Okaaaay so I've lowkey been on hiatus for 6 weeks (yikes I only realized how long it's been now). And I just wanted to say that my mind has been blocked this past month (I've re-written this chapter about 4 times). Also I was starting to feel in a way forced to write. Which is something I hate to feel because I write this story for MY pleasure. I am delighted yall enjoy my work and it warms my heart, but I never wanted to feel forced to write a horrible chapter simply because you guys ask me to update (dw the comments asking me to update actually encourage me and I appreciate everyone). I just wanted to put that out there and apologize. Hopefully (cross my fingers) I will be able to update more since it is summer, but I hope you guys aren't mad at me and understand how I'm feeling at the moment.

Love you all,
Patricia

:-)

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