[Complete] Now & Forever: Drake and Nicki Minaj

Chapter Twenty Seven

Before I began this chapter, I would like to say that it is quite detailed. With the works of fyesdrizzy and I, I damn near cried before publishing this chapter. I felt as if I was walking in the shoes of Kennedy or Aubrey, knowing that so many people get put into these predicaments.

Bringing a child into this world comes with so many sacrifices and decisions, and some people aren't one-hundred percent ready for it. Even if you don't believe in abortion or adoption, always try to put yourself into the perspectives of others. I commend every woman that SINCERELY thought about the outcome of life for her child(ren) before choosing their decision.

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Kennedy Onika "Nicki" Maraj.

My stomach was in knots and something told me that it had reason to be. I was nervous.

When Drake was at the studio, he was at the studio. No friends, no family, no smoking, no disturbing of his peace. When he was at the studio, he was making music and if you were going to be there with him, his one rule was that you'd better make yourself invisible.

So now, I'm on my way there and something felt a little off, I just couldn't pinpoint it.

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Flashback

I crossed my legs, pulling the white gown closer to my body. My mother kissed the top of my forehead before walking out, letting me know that she would be in the waiting area. As soon as her foot stepped out the door and the clicking sound of the door was heard, I began to cry.

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, thinking about actually going through with my decision. It wasn't like I had any other choice anyways, I was 16 and broke. The father of my child made it completely clear that he wanted nothing to do with the baby, and it was understood that my mother couldn't afford another child.

I couldn't live with giving my child up for adoption, knowing the he or she would be living in a world without possibly knowing who I was. I could never forgive myself for what I was going to do, but it was final. Everything was signed and paid for, and there was no turning back.

At a previous appointment, I'd already experienced the ultrasound scan and cervical screening test. I was simply drowning in my own tears, while waiting for the doctor to come in and lead me to the next room.

Once he did return, he guided me to a room with a few details about what was going to happen. We'd decided on the 'Suction Termination' procedure, since I was a little over 15 weeks. I was going to be put to sleep, and the procedure would last no more than 15 minutes.

After the procedure, I would experience bleeding and cramping for up to 20 days, but women usually experienced it for about a week.

"Are you ready"? I looked at the doctor with tears still filling the corners of my eyes. I didn't care much to respond, it wasn't like I had the possibility of turning back or changing my mind.

After the procedure, I often felt like I lost myself. Knowing that I was pregnant created this special attraction to something so small and innocent growing inside of me, my child.