speak | taehyung

fifteen: mark our skies

I took in a long sigh, breathing out the heavy weight on my chest. As I stared at the planet stickers plastered on my ceiling, I realized that you meant more to me than I imagined. I always had a strong predilection for astronomy, but that night as I observed the constellations above, I noticed how strangely beautiful they were. Just like you. Cheesy, but my feelings for you were beyond a crush/like/attracted sort-of-thing. I liked you as a person. I didn't want to date you or be your girlfriend. I just desired to be in your presence. I wanted to cherish every possible moment I had with you. Because like stars which marked our skies, I was afraid you would disappear when morning came.

It was quite the contrary. As I was afraid you would spend less time with me, you spent even more hours by my side. After facing painful rejection by piano girl, which was unsurprising (she was honestly too good for you), you took a break from attempting to swoon girls. Although at times I found you drunk in the corner making out like it was some sort of battle, you never had any serious relationships.

Although we had gotten close, it took you a while to open up to me about your father. I never asked. You never said anything. But when we reached the 12 month mark, you finally told me.

We were at the orphanage, near the 'scary part of town' as my mom would like to call it. We sat on the concrete steps, as we had just finished an exhilarating game of hide and seek with the 20 children who hoped to find loving parents. We were both quiet, and like every time we visited, I felt humbled. I was grateful that I didn't have to sleep in a room with cracked crumbling walls and lay on mats that were as comfortable as sleeping on rocks, but I also felt sorry. I felt sorry that I couldn't do anything. I felt sorry that I couldn't help them.

As I was deep in thought, you nudged my arm and whispered, "I'm not perfect."

"My dad...He hurts my mom. It's been like that for a while now, ever since my sister left. I don't know what to do. I tried contacting the police, they won't listen. They know my history, they won't believe a thing. I don't understand. How am I supposed to protect my own mother." Your voice cracked and I could see your eyes water.

"Al, I'm scared. I might kill him. I don't know what I'll do. This is why I don't like coming home. Yet I feel guilty for leaving my mom. I just feel like such a mess right now."

I averted my eyes to the ground and said shyly, "Taehyung. It's tough right now. But there will be a way, don't give up."

"You know you're a good person." You replied tilting my head to face you.

"You are too," I smiled weakly.

We were both lonely stars searching for a galaxy to be our home.

Author's note:

HELLO! this is getting quite cheesy. too much cheese, i'm cringing.

lol get ready for major angst the next few chapters. anywhooo! 2k reads and 300 votes! thank you for all the support so far!!!