My New Addiction

8. Sleep

The cold air bit into my skin as I dashed down the street. Blood dripped from my forehead to my cheek, making me cringe from the feeling. My ears had an intense ringing noise pounding into them. It was so intense I could barely hear the sirens announcing the police enforcement's arrival. I was pumped up with adrenaline enough to run my way home. And that's what I had initially planned to do. No pain, no fighting, and most definitely no jail for me. Younger and rebellious me would be so disappointed.

"Fuck this," I heaved out. My legs felt numb both from the cold air and exhaustion. I'll probably regret this later, but like I said, fuck this.

"Tessa!" The familiar voice called out. His voice only fueled my need to run more. I had to get out. Now.

"Tessa! Wait!" He called out again, his voice faint from the distance. I ignored it begrudgingly and ran until my knees buckled to a stop. I fell face first onto the concrete, my legs no longer mobile. The air surrounding me were puffs of white smoke from my heavy breaths. I could feel the disgusting combination of sweat and blood dripping down my face, as I felt that all too familiar feeling.

That weird feeling of your body being completely light, and your eyes growing heavy. Everything becomes numb, even your ears are blocked from any noise. It's as if your whole body is shutting you out from the harsh reality called life.

I've experienced this feeling when I've unsuccessfully committed suicide.

Before I completely blacked out, I tiredly pressed the call button on my phone. Hoping I'll get to call anyone. Just anyone, even if it's that pizza guy who cracks jokes with me. I didn't want to go like this.

"Help." I whispered into the air, all my senses shutting down to leave me vulnerable to the dark.

...

The screaming voices filled the entire house. I carried on with my homework. It's not the first time this happened. The night dragged on with them arguing nonstop. Typical day for me.

"I'm leaving!" The shrill scream declared. I carefully trudged down the stairs, peeking into the bedroom where a woman furiously stuffed her luggage into different bags.

"Mom?" I asked cautiously looking around for any sign of the drunk bastard. Her hands paused for a second before she continued to pack. I propped my little body up on her bed, realizing we were the only ones in there. A sloppy trail of mascara ran down her cheeks barely covering the ugly bruises she attained from their argument.

"Honey, you know I love you right?" she knelt down on the floor as she caressed my face. Fear and adoration swirled in her eyes. I never once seen them together. This was a first. It was either one or the other at most times. My only response was to nod, my young mind not able to comprehend what she was hinting at. 

"I just really hope you can understand," she choked out holding me close. I snuggled my face into the crook of her neck enjoying the comforting smell of her perfume. "I love you Teresa Joy. So, so much." Her gentle voice breaking at every word that was meant to show adoration.

"I'll see you later alright?"

And I never did.

...

The morning light seeped through my eye lids instantly blinding me when I could barely pry them open. I tossed around, my body aching from the hits it took last night. What an eventful night that was.

"Tessa!" Collin's voice yelled from a distance. My eyes watched Collin, who seemed to be with Jaden, run over to where I laid. I felt my hand twitch from me trying to regain the control on my body. Everything just hurt like hell. I couldn't move without releasing a string of profanities.