My New Addiction

17. Emotions

The silence was so intense, you could hear a pin drop if ever there would've been a damn reason to do so. I couldn't speak, nor could I even move. Nick's eyes darted from Brooke then to me, and I wouldn't be lying about how much it hurt to see him look at me as if I've betrayed him.

"Nick, I can explain-" I started to speak. He shook his head, breaking eye contact with me by closing his eyes.

"First dad, and now you want to leave me too." Brooke shook her head crying out, "No! It wasn't like that I swear-"

"You said something about dad. What do you mean-" she furrowed her brows in confusion.

"He's dying, Brooke. He has a tumor in his brain."

Brooke goes into hysterics, with his brother holding onto her. Her pained cries and screams echoed in the room alerting the nurses. I was kicked out of the room as soon as they got in, Nick looking at me with pure betrayal reflecting in his eyes.

I didn't know.

The three words kept swirling in my head making me mad. If I knew he was already carrying so much on his shoulders, I would've...

Could've.

"What're you still doing here?" He rushed past me, aiming for the front door of the hospital. I chased after him internally cursing myself for not running laps with Ellie. Maybe then I would've been faster.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted loud enough for him to hear. He stops in midstep, his hands clenched into fists.

"You know," he starts to turn and face me. He shakes his head slowly as he made long strides closer to where I stood. I bit the inside of my cheek, willing myself to keep myself from cowering away from his intense glare.

"I was falling for you," he admitted.

"I-" His hand shot out in front of me, "Shut up! I'm done hearing your lies!"

"I thought you were different." Nick's eyes looked down, then met with mine. Tears started to blur my vision, I was shaking so badly it was hard for me to stand straight.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated. And I meant every word.

"I knew you were bad for me. And still, I-" he rubbed his hands along his jaw, frustrated. "Just... why me?" He laughed bitterly. I gave a faint shrug, no longer able to keep my emotions at bay.

"I've fallen for a guy who's world is falling around him."

"No one asked you to," he turns away. No longer was he holding on to me for dear life, his eyes blank of emotion. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"But I did," I whispered into the air. No longer did I have the hope for him to hear my confession.

I couldn't help but cry silently as I watch him walk away. It pained me to see him walk away out of my life for good.

•••

-Present Time-

"And that's how it ends," I leaned back and tilted my head. The clock ticked away, filling the silent room. Her gaze remained on me with her hand on pause from scribbling things down. I spared her the details of my sex encounter with Nick- mostly for my own good. It brings a certain ache in my chest whenever I even begin to think about how much time I spent with him. All of our smiles, laughter, everything- gone because of my stupidity.

"I was dumb. I was in love and dumb. God, I can't believe myself." I scoffed, covering my eyes with my arm. Not letting her see how willing my eyes were to shed tears.