Different Kind of Love

Chapter 8 The Life With a Crush

"You have what?"

I nodded repeatedly as Ember processed me having a crush on Marionette.  We were sitting on the swings at the park, swaying them slightly.  This was the first time I was with Ember alone, no Marionette present.  I decided to tell Ember because with the things Dinah said about girls loving girls, I thought that Dinah wouldn't be a good option.  "So, I guess that makes me lesbian now." I stated to Ember.

"I would think so." she agreed.

I turned on my swing to face her, "Will you tell anyone?" I asked, a bit panicky and the anxious feeling I carried at the Before-School-Bbq returned.  My heart started beating faster and my breath got a bit shaky, too.  Is this the pressure girls have to go through when they have a crush?  Wow, I'm glad I missed out for so long.

"Earth to Meg!  Earth to Megan!" Ember tried to get my attention.  I quickly snapped back into focus and laughed at the way she was gesturing her arms.  "Ooh, sorry!" I said, when I calmed down.  

"As I was saying," Ember said, "I think it's not my secret to tell, so I promise that no one will hear about your crush on Marionette."

"Shush!  Shush!  Don't say it out loud!" I warned, whipping my head this way and that, checking for any of my fellow peers from school.  "Ears everywhere!" I hissed.

"There's no one flipp'in here!" Ember cried, "Look around, Megan!"

I stared at the empty park.  There were only a few moms on the other side of the park, in the garden, with their strollers and screaming toddlers.  "On, phew!  I guess I got carried away." I said.

"But seriously," Ember said, "I think you should tell her you like her."

"Tell Marionette?" I gasped, "She's, like, so cool!  I'm not her type!"

"What do you mean not her type?" Ember questioned, "She seems to like you just fine."

"Well, I'm not pretty enough, for starters." I said, staring at my dull hair, with a slight frizz to it.  

"I think you're pretty.  I mean, you don't have any acne, like me." Ember sighed at the thought of her pimples.

"Oh, c'mon!" I said, "Your acne is not bad!  It's hardly even noticeable today!"

"That's c'ause I'm wearing concealer!" Ember mourned.  We both laughed a little at our lack of self confidence.  We spent the rest of our time at the park talking about random things, such as the new boutique that had just opened up, the cupcake store and Mr. Earl, that rotten old science teacher!  Every so often Ember would try and convince me into talking to Marionette, but I would groan until she gave up.  In other words, we had a typical day for teenage girls.  Or, as typical as it can get.

After the park trip, I went home, ate dinner and finished up homework.  I grabbed my I-pad and decided to Skype Dad.  I grabbed my sketchbook, which I had filled up with drawings, prepared to show him.  Skype was how I could keep in touch with my dad, even though he was all the way in Winsconsin.  Almost as soon as I called, he answered.  "How's my favourite fourteen year old the in the universe?" Dad asked cheerfully.

"Good, Dad!" I cried, brushing my brown hair off my shoulder.  I resemble my dad, with my straight brown hair and matching brown eyes.  Kaelyn resembles my mom, with her curly, dirty blonde hair and bluish grey eyes.  Dylan is a mix of both Mom and Dad, with her brunette hair from Dad and her blue and grey eyes from Mom.  I don't know if this is true for everyone, but it is true to me, I think since I resemble my dad, I tend to like the things he does more, while Kaelyn resembles Mom, she likes to do the things that my mom does more.  Dylan is kind of in the middle, oh well.  Anyway, there was a question that had been bugging me ever since I realized I had a crush on a girl, I was pretty sure of what Mom's answer would be, but I wanted to hear Dad's.  "Dad," I began, "I-"

"Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly, "You sound tense."

"No, everything's fine." I assured, "I just-  Um, I kinda have a crush...on a girl."

"So?  That's okay." 

"Really?" I cried, "Because I think that means I'm lesbian and the people at my school hate lesbians."

"Don't care about what the people at your school think!" Dad said, waving his hand dismissively, "Do what Megan wants and only what Megan wants.  Remember I'll always love you, if you have a crush on someone or don't have a crush on someone, wether you're lesbian or not.  None of that matters to me."

"Thanks, Daddy!" I said and fifteen minutes later, our chat ended.

After the  Skype, I picked up my sketchbook.  I took out a sketching pencil and began to draw a girl.  Her hair was long and ebony, and braided in a complex style.  I also drew white roses in her hair.  She wore a gown that appeared to be a bride's dress.  Then I realized, I had drawn Marionette.

The next day, I was walking to school with Dinah again.  She was wearing another one of her red outfits, that was fit for the October weather, which was starting to get chilly.  She had on a red hoodie and tight, light blue denim skinny jeans.  Her hair was let loose today and it was slightly wavy.  She on a pair of black motorcycle boots.  "So, Meg," she said, a bit coldly if you ask me, "Susan, Anna, Piper and I have been talking-"

"About me?" I questioned, predicting what she was going to say.

"Yes, about you." Dinah finished and I suddenly felt that she wasn't the greatest friend I ever had.  Talking about me- behind my back!  "Anyways," Dinah continued, "We don't feel that your that committed to our group anymore.  You're always chill'in with," she shuddered, "Marionette and" another shudder, "Ember."

"So?  Why can't I spend time with all of you guys?" I asked.

"Has Marionette told you how she hates me?" Dinah inquired, ignoring my last remark.

"Yes." I said quietly, suddenly guilty.  I felt as if I were about to lose my very first best friend in California right then and there!  "She told me." I managed to squeak pathetically.

"Have I ever told my side of the story?" Dinah asked, but in a way that she wasn't looking for an answer because she continued, "Oh, way back when in Grade Six or Sevenish, I was friends with Marionette- good friends, no best friends!  Anywho, I was happy hanging out with Marionette's group until Ember showed up.  She somehow became best friends with Marionette, like as if she were cool, and Marionette just point blank ditched me.  Boy, was I angry!  I watched as Ember Wilson hugged Marionette and put her arms around Marionette and I though that there was something more than just friends going on between them.  I then knew that Ember was lesbian.  I texted my group of friends now, which were the only support I had during that time, about Ember being lesbian and it went viral. Many asked me for a more in depth explanation, so I gave them one.  On a website.  I was just showing everyone Ember was a cheat and a fraud.  She was and is, a lesbian."

"No, she's not." I snapped, suddenly very angry at Dinah.

"What?" Dinah whipped her head towards me.

"Ember is not lesbian." I said, trembling with rage, "How could you assume, Dinah Colby, that Ember is a lesbian without proof or hard facts?  How could you assume all lesbians are bad?"  Suddenly, I got enough adrenaline and said, "I'm lesbian!  I'm lesbian!  I have a crush on Marionette!  I'm lesbian!  So what?  Pick on me!  I don't care!"

"Y-you're, you're one of them?" Dinah's voice grew eerily quiet.

"Yes." I said defiantly, I couldn't back out of it now.

Dinah slowly backed up and turned around, leaving me standing there.  Alone.  I stood, watching her go, and saw her I-phone, encased in its' red phone case, in her back pocket, and I remembered all the horrible things she did to Ember when she thought Ember was a lesbian.  But for me, it'd be worse, because it was actually the truth.  I was a lesbian.  "Oh my goodness," I said out loud, covering my mouth with my hand, "What have I done?"