A Deeper Cliche

Chapter 2

Friday, April 8 - Youth Group

Me: Are there really that many people that are dating here?

Cherry: Yes, Belle. Christians are allowed to date as well.

Me: *narrowing my eyes at her* You know darn well that wasn't what I was asking.

Cherry: *shrugging as if it was no big deal* It's not our fault that you don't know how to pay attention to your surroundings.

Tabitha: Seriously, how did you not notice this. The drama surrounding all of them is ridiculous. Even at school it's obvious who's together and who's not. I bet even Penelope could tell you about who is dating who here and she's been here maybe twice at the most in the past year.

Me: *rolling my eyes* Okay, I get it. I don't pay as much attention as I should.

Cherry: It's more than that, Belle. Sometimes you come across as very judgmental towards people who have any focus that isn't one hundred percent on God.

James: You've never said anything to me, but I can see it in your eyes that you hate me.

Cherry: Oh sweetie. *touching his arm lightly* She does hate you. That's what best friends are for. Not thinking that anyone's good enough for her friend.

Me: I don't hate you, James. But she's right. I don't think you're good enough for her.

Tabitha: Anyways, I think it's time to scope out a good boy for Belle.

Me: For the last time. I don't need a boy!

Tabitha: Certainly not, but you still need someone who can pull you out of whatever shell you're in. You may think you're being a perfect Christian or whatever, but the truth is you're too distracted in trying to be that you're truly missing God in the process.

Me: *staring at her, mouth dropping slightly*

Tabitha: What? They say too much of a good thing can be bad. That's just how I see what's happened with you. You're trying too hard to be right with God or whatever and you're missing Him. You're missing His grace by trying to earn it yourself. I know that's not what you believe, but that's how you're acting. And I think a boy would be a good distraction because it's become so much of a habit that it'll take quite a while for you to break out of it.

Cherry: Wow, I never really looked at it that way, but I think Tabitha's right, Belle. Your righteousness, holiness, or whatever it is you're doing or trying to be is getting in the way of being a good Christian and sharing it with others and truly caring about people. Even with us and Penelope, we can feel you getting farther and farther away from us.

Me: When did reading the Bible and prayer become a bad thing? That's basically all I do. I think I should know God and what he wants better than you!

*Silence*

Me: Come on, this is ridiculous. You make it seem like I'm the bad person here. I'm just trying to do what God wants me to do.

Cherry: We're just saying this because this is how we see it and feel about it. We just what's best for you, so that's why we said something.

Me: Why am I the one under trial? I'm way more faithful than any of you!

Tabitha: The Belle we used to know would never say anything like that. But you've turned into something that we don't even recognize anymore.

Me: That's ridiculous. I haven't changed in the least bit. You are the ones who have changed. I follow God with all that I am while you let anything you want distract you. You even give into sin at times and act like it's no big deal at all. Why am I the one being treated like I'm such a bad person?!

Cherry: We don't think you're a bad person, Belle! We just think your distracted.

Me: No, you're the distracted one. James had done nothing but distract you from following God. You're hardly ever around to do anything with anyone anymore. You treat the Bible like it's only slightly important. So it's ridiculous that you're attacking me!

Tabitha: Belle! *yelling so loud it's attracting attention* You need to get ahold of yourself.

Me: I'm not doing anything wrong!

Tabitha: All you're doing is being defensive. We're not trying to attack you. We're just suggesting that maybe you're a little distracted. I'm not saying you're a bad Christian. We all know you aren't. But you're not who you use to be. You used to be out telling everyone about God and not caring at all what they think. You used to love and care about everyone. But now, all you seem to care about is reading the Bible and praying by yourself. That's all good, but you can't let it be your entire life. You need more. You need people. And maybe you don't need a boy, but you at least need your friends, and right now all you're doing is attacking us and pushing us away.

Me: I thought you were all better friends than this.

For the first time ever, I left youth group. I prided myself in being faithful and being at any church event I could. And always praying to God when trouble came. But I couldn't. I just couldn't take the hurtful words from these people that I always assumed to be my friends. I just needed to get away from them. I couldn't be in their presence letting their disappointment rain down on me. It was too much. But, as I went away I couldn't get their words out of my head. What I actually the problem? Was it possible that I'd been so caught up in myself that I'd not only been oblivious to the world around me, but neglecting not only my friends, but myself from having real fellowship with other Christians?