30 Before 30

LONDON Chapter 9 - A Day at 30 Rock

DESTINATION Basement bathroom of The Citadines Apart’Hotel, Gloucester Road, South Kensington, London

INSPIRATION Jack McBrayer, a.k.a. “30 Rock”’s Kenneth, inspires me to rely on the kindness of strangers. The result is more of a Liz Lemon moment.

And the page turned.

The day that ended as my Jack McBrayer moment started out feeling like it was inspired by Liz Lemon, “30 Rock”’s disaster-a-moment writer heroine. I started writing comedy, but only when the writing ceased did the real episode begin.

Dressed for a run but not ready to exercise, I found myself sitting at Starbucks with a mug full of ginger tea and a head full of words. I picked up that unit which is rarely far from my hand—my BlackBerry— and my fingers went into overdrive. I couldn’t stop them if I tried as they furiously typed out descriptions of the new cast of characters who had entered my life in London. I was tearing up and laughing (snort) as I released the jumble from my head on to that small screen.

In just 30 minutes, my whole story unfolded beautifully. It was genius, obviously. I felt elated and enlightened. I was funny, really funny. It was time to email the masterpiece to a lucky recipient. Jack Donaghy, you’d be offering me a show, it was that good. (Snort.)

Then the coffee shop turned from sunny bright to gloomy gray. Jaw drop. It was gone, pages and pages. Those words went from my head to my BlackBerry to…Blackblurry. My head’s blurry. The email had disappeared.

I lost control of my head, my body, and my awareness of common social behavior. I began frantically pressing buttons, holding keys, scrolling up and down, but there was no trace. Then came the hair pulling, eye squinting, face rubbing, and feet stomping. 

Terminated. I am a Lemon.

FROM Jack McBrayer

TO Angie Banicki

subject Europe Trip

I want to help you out with your trip to Europe, but I’m afraid I’m not as well traveled as a lot of your other friends are. I spent a semester in England in college, and  that was great fun. I was on work-study, so I had to work my job (building maintenance) on the weekends while all the other kids got to travel around. Although I didn’t get around as much  as some of the others, I did  have a wonderful  time.

One thing that I took away from my time there was a true enjoyment  and  appreciation of the people I was around. My host family, the English professors, my co-workers in the manor  (we studied in a manor!)...All of those guys really shaped my time there and made it very meaningful.

So, I guess my contribution would be this: get to know a couple of the locals in whatever city/country you stay in. Invite them out to dinner and get  a real  taste of how citizens of that place are. You know they’ll have great stories and  strong opinions and  will be otherwise...very interesting. 

Is this anything that you’re looking for? I wish I had  a tip like, “try this Indian  restaurant in London’s West  End”, but I don’t have anything like that.

Anyway, have a fun trip, and be safe.  Give me a holler if you need anything, and  otherwise, enjoy yourself! And happy birthday.

Jackie McB

Like someone was squeezing me, my face scrunched up and tears poured out.

I had one moment of brilliance. One hour. And the universe stole it. Sniffle. Sniffle. I would be okay. Big breath.