rooftops. | dazatsu

epilogue

atsushi-kun,

i don't know when you'll receive this, open this, or probably even read it; but all i know right know is that you've already received this, and is reading it.

first of all, i don't really expect you to cry-- no offense intended-- because, i admit, i'm not one of those persons who get emotional just by writing a suicide letter-- oh whoops, i think i spilled the beans.

i probably wrote this before saying that i did love you, so i didn't know if you rejected me or not. but you probably did, right? yeah, you probably did.

to be honest, i really did. and even though, i am now dead, i still do. i love you, but i'm sorry that i couldn't stay alive. besides, i'm only alive for that reason-- and 90% you probably don't love me back, so what's there to live for, right?

hey atsushi, i'm sorry i died. i'm really really sorry.

please listen to two of my final wishes.

i want you to find someone who will love you-- probably more than i loved you. find someone who will love you more than you love the moon.

oh and atsushi?

never stop loving the moon for me, okay?

i love you,

and i'm sorry.

signed, dazai

          Atsushi sighed, folding the letter and putting it again inside the envelope. "Hey are you gonna be fine by yourself here, Lucy?" The albino questioned, turning his head towards his newly found lover.

          "I'm fine here by myself. Now go visit him before it rains." The blonde said, urging him to get out of the car. "Oh, and don't forget to tell him my greetings!" She added, smiling softly at Atushi.

          "Of course, of course." The albino said, closing the car's door.

          Atsushi walked towards his desired location, and after a few seconds, finally arriving there.

          The albino placed the flowers right on top if his grave, and started talking. "Hey Dazai, it's been a year after I last visited for your third death anniversary, right? Well, long time no see, I guess." He softly chuckled to himself because of his dry humor.

          "Oh, I almost forgot, Lucy's giving you greetings by the way." Atsushi said, taking a pause. "I think I already fulfilled all your wishes, Osamu. I think I already found someone who loves me more than I love the moon." He added. "But someone who loves me more than you did? I think there's no one who will." The albino smiled, breathing in deeply, trying his best not to cry. "I think I already said this a lot of times, but I loved you."

          "I truly did."

          "But I guess it's time to move on now, right?" He said, running his hands through his hair. "I think this is my closing remarks,"

          "My father once told me to look at the moon whenever I'm lonely." He said, trying to keep his tears in but failed. "I remembered everything, Dazai. You also told me that didn't you? When my hair was still black, when I was crying over my dad's grave; you told me that, didn't you?"

          "I'm sorry I forgot you."

          "I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you, I'm sorry for everything."

          "Most of all, I'm sorry for not being good enough for you to live. I'm sorry."

          "But I need to say goodbye now. So, goodbye Dazai, see you in a while." He smiled, a genuine one.
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A/N:

okay wth i want to unpublish this book because this book is freaking trash. i would probably unpublish this at the end of june tho.

im planning to start a Dazai fic, and i don't know if i should-- but i have this amazing plot in my head and just asdfghjkl i want to write it.

but anyways, to those who survived this crappy fic till the end, congratulations!! you are awesome and ily for surviving this dazatsu fanfiction that is mostly made of crap.

so, i guess i will unpublish this,,,,,