Beautifully Insane

IV. Isaiah

✴ song of chapter: Sleepwalking by bring me the horizon ✴

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Dysania; the state of finding it extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning. This explains me very well. I'm sure everyone who's human feels this way sometimes but its much more then that. Sleep keeps me sane, without sleep I'll probably be in rehab right now. When I go to sleep everything disappears, all the pain, all the emotions, everything I ever felt. Peace replaces all that pain when I sleep and so when its time to wake up, I don't want to.

    My alarm went off twenty minutes ago and I'm still in bed of course. I always set my alarm clock twenty minutes before I'm supposed to so I have time to actually get of bed and not be late. Well this time I wasted those twenty minutes staring at the ceiling not wanting to get up for school.

   My second alarm goes off, signifying I should be out of bed now. I lean over to my nightstand and turn off the alarm, silencing the annoying tune. I just lay there, ignoring the time. I can't seem to get up, I'm just too relaxed to even move. I lay there for about two more minutes before someone knocks on the door. My family knows I have difficulties getting out of bed but they just think I'm lazy as fuck.  

I groan but don't get up to open it. The door opens and my kid brother walks in.
"Get the fuck out of bed, now." He says sternly. Who the fuck is he to tell me what to do? I sit up on the edge of my bed slowly and raise an eyebrow at him.
"What do you want?" I ask him. He looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Do you not see the time Isaiah, we have thirty minutes to get to school." He says worried. This is just like him, always stressed and worried about everything.
"Chill the fuck out, I'll be ready in five minutes." I say calmly while standing up and stretching. I flex my biceps and make my way to the bathroom. Michael follows me out the door and goes downstairs.
"I'll wait down here." He says. I nod then go into the bathroom.

     I take a quick three minute shower then stand in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around my waist. I grab a smaller towel and dry my crazed sandy brown hair. I grab a razor and shave the little hairs on my face. I stare at the razor and my hand begins to shake a little. I squeeze the razor tightly, tempted, but I put it back in the cabinet. Not today, I say to myself. I take my antidepressant and brush my teeth really quick then exit the bathroom.

   I go into my room, dry myself off then put on my clothes. I try to control my hair by styling it like I always do. I put on some cologne grab my things then head downstairs.

  I go into the kitchen and grab an apple. This is my usually meal for the whole day until dinner. My father and stepmother already left for work hours ago, as they always do. The house phone rings and I check the ID number, its my older sister Ivy.

"Hey, what's up?" She doesn't usually call this early in the mourning because she has classes at the university of Florida. Today's her first day of her second year in college.

"Just wanted to wish you good luck on your first day of senior year and to tell Michael good luck on his first day of freshman year." She says. I glance over at Michael and he looks impatient.