A Shade of Cool

XXXII: The Choices We Make

We stood inside the house, dead silence filled the air apart from the soft clicking of a grandfather clock and traffic from outside the house. The house was a just a more narrow version of Noah's house; doll-like, decorated elegantly from the golden chandeliers to the marble arts that rested in the corner of each room. Apart from all this, there was me and him, my eyes averting from meeting his. His eyes eagerly looked over me as if I was this precious thing that appeared out of nowhere.

Alanna and Kathy awkwardly took their places either side of me, looking around a bit as the silence spread into it's second minute. Soon, Noah moved forward, reaching toward my arm with a beam on his face, "I'm glad you cam-"

I flinched and moved from his touch.

Frowning, he looked at me, "Jacob?"

I crossed my arms and looked away from him, my heart racing a bit as I bit my bottom lip and silently wished I was at home. That I never came. I felt bad I was making him feel bad, but at the same time all I could think was of how he left. And I couldn't see him like that, not yet, not as Noah was before.

"Could you guys leave us for a moment?" Noah looked at Alanna and Kathy.

Kathy looked hesitant but with a tug on her arm via Alanna, she nodded and glanced at me, "You okay?"

I nodded at her and flashed a smile to assure her. Though I was wasn't. I was far from okay but I knew this had to happen. Kathy, unsure, nodded and followed Alanna into the living room that stood to our right hand side. Noah just stared at me.

"Come to the kitchen with me," He said, "I'll get you something to eat."

I headed toward the door past the stairs where I glanced the tiles of the kitchen, pushing the door open I stepped into what looked like an all american classic kitchen. Noah followed shortly after me, closing the door behind us quietly as I took a seat at the counter. My hands folded in my lap as I stared down.

He curiously made his way over to me, his hand hesitantly reaching out toward me again but I glanced at him, shooting him a look as he paused. He dropped his hand and pulled out the chair beside me, "Listen, I know... I get you being mad. I get that you are upset and that's fine but we aren't running away from our problems, we both aren't really ready for this, are? Everyone knowing. I mean, who are we kidding? Plus, we worked better as... by ourselves without anyone else to get involved. So I say we stay here for a bit and let it all blow over whilst we-"

"I never got your letter," I said.

He stopped and frowned again, "You didn't?"

"Didn't the ten day wait make you wonder? Why didn't you call? Text?" I shook my head, "I thought you were gone. Left me to face the backlash and the hate. And you did. Because you had options. You had contacts, you had a way! Yet... you just sat here 'waiting' for me?" I scoffed.

"Jacob... I didn't... I just thought... I was hurt too, okay?"

"But that's okay, right? Because you're hurt so it's okay?" I glared at him, "Could you even imagine how I felt? Because unlike you I don't have people to take me in, a way out or someone to turn to turn. Let alone a place to hide."

"Jacob... please, you have to understand-"

"What?" I snapped, "What do I have to understand?"

"How... how hard it was. When I saw that video of us on there I couldn't tell you how much I was relieved. I was happy it was all out, I really was. I remember when I was little there was this girl. Her name was Sophia, we were seven. My grandparents had a cabin by this huge lake in Florida and we' go down there every Summer to just soak up the sun and play ball and swim and... she lived next door. I remember looking forward to each summer from the age of seven to nine, those Summers were the only time I ever saw her. Each year she's come back taller, more beautiful and with more of her stories to tell. We'd laugh and joke and soon enough, when we were old enough to know, we ended up kissing. I remember that we snuck behind an old oak by the lake," He smiled, "I'd never felt butterflies so much, the moment I kissed her it just all came into place. It felt good. And then there was you..."