Breathe me

Breath me

I walked downstairs to my house completely trashed. Red cups scattered all over the place, Stains on the carpet, And ciggarett buds almost everywere I looked. I walked into the living room to see my mom sprawled out on the couch, In one hand an beer can and the other a ciggarett. "Hey m-mom" I said.

 She looked up at me, Her dark hair put up messily. Her eyes drooped from lack of sleep, She was drunk. "Lyric what the hell happened here?!" She said propping herself up from the couch. My mom always did things like this. She had a couple friends over they partied and in the morning she took it out on me for the mess she left. "I-I Mom you had your friends, I was upstairs reading my-" 

"Don't bull-shit to me Lyric!" She snapped. I was terrified. She got up and slapped me right across my face. "Mom your drunk!" I screamed. Running upstairs and slamming my door shut. 

I coulden't remember the last time I had an actual conversation with my sober mother! It's like talking to a damn wall. But yeah My name is Lyric, I was nine years old when my father left us for another woman. It caused my mom depression and that's when she started to drink and when the drugs took there place. The first year was the hardest though, I was young and I diden't understand what was going on. I just sincerely thought my mom diden't like me anymore which made me run away. I was thirteen at the time and four days after a mother found me lurking the streets at night and she took me straight back to my mom. I wasen't that afraid because I thought my mom had missed me. Well I was wrong.

The minute I got home she lunged at me and attacked me. Screaming in my face, Telling me I was worthless, A waste of space, And that she had never wished I was born. She hit me several times before she stopped and walked back to the couch. I layed in bed that night believing all those things were true and I coulden't stop crying. That was the first night my mother had actually abused me.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

beep beep beep beep beep

That damn alarm clock.

I shut it off and pulled myself out of bed looking at my reflection in the mirror. I pulled out a pair of ripped skinny jeans and A purple t-shirt and brushed my hair threw back to its original brown straight self. I put on my makeup and after I was finished I still wasen't satisfied with the way I looked but coulden't do anything about it because I would be late for school. 

I grabbed my school bag and walked down the stairs to see my mom passed out on the couch with beer bottles and cigarettes surrounding her. I rolled my eyes and walked out of the house to catch the bus, As I got there I saw the usual kids who waited at the stop like me. We exchanged glances but no one bothered to say anything. I hated that awkward silence I had with everyone but I was to shy to say anything. "She's such a freak" One girl whispered to the guy. He chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug. I wanted to know how that felt. How a hug felt. Was It sad that I had never really had a real hug? From a real friend? Pathetic I know. 

The bus came and they all shoved me out of the way and got on. I sat in the front seat and Smiled to the bus driver "Morning lyric, How was your weekend?" He said closing the doors "Fine, yours?" I said simply. "Great!" He began to babble on about how his family are planning a camping trip, But my thoughts wondered. And before I knew it we had already arrived at the high school. 

"Have a good day lyric!" He said smiling, I waved goodbye and said thank you. I went into the hall and straight to my locker shoving all my things inside. I pulled out my textbooks but when I turned around instantly my books were thrown out of my hands to the ground by taylor williams, One of the most popular girls who go here. She laughed and grinned "Hey freak stay out of my way." She said giving me a death glare before going back to her jock boyfriend. I got up pulling all the books to my chest and ran to class.

I took my seat next to one of the foot ball players that took no interest in talking to me. As everyone els. The teacher came in and put her books down "Morning everyone! How was your weekend?" Every one cheered and clapped.

And she laughed "Now, Now, I have your test's graded! And I would like you guys to study for the pop quiz of friday so as I hand these out I want to see you all with your text books out studying!" She said as she handed out the graded test. I pulled out A piece of paper and started to write out jot notes for the pop quiz "Well done Lyric" The teacher said as she handed me my test. In the corner was a giant A+ I bit my lip and put the test down on my desk. I pulled out my pencil and before I could write someone appeared at my desk "Holy shit! You are as smart as everyone says!" I looked up to see Dylan, Taylor's boyfriend. I nodded and shyly smiled "You don't talk much do you?" He said. I shrugged and he pulled out a chair in front of me.

He pulled out his left hand asking me to shake it. "I'm Dylan" He said "And your the freak everyone talks about?" I rolled my eyes "I have known you for five years.." I said with a raised an eyebrow. He laughed "Oh wow you talk!" I stayed silent starring at my desk. "So..Do I have to keep calling you freak girl? Or are you going to give me a name?" I laughed "I'm lyric" He smiled "That's  a beautiful name" He cooed "Just like you.." I looked up and smiled. He leaned in to kiss me. I felt my heart race, So I leaned in closing my eyes and waiting for our lips to touch. Seconds passed and I heard giggling. I open my eyes to see Dylan, Taylor, And a bunch of kids laughing at me.

"You honestly think I would kiss you?!"

He broke into instant laughter "You really are a freaky slut!" One of the girls yelled throwing her arms up in the air.

I grabbed my book bag and ran out of the class room and to the library.

I went to the back of the library and dropped my book bag and sat in one of the desks. God dammit Lyric! Your such an idiot! 

I grabbed my things and left the library. I desided it would be best If I just went home! I left the school door and walked home, Dark clouds began to form And I felt a drop of rain hit my nose. I groaned and pulled on a jacket and continued walking.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

I walked into my house and Heard nothing but silence. I quietly ran up to my room and shut the door, I brushed the rain out of my hair and grabbed a book and curled up but I coulden't seem to read it. I heard the downstairs door slam shut "LYRIC!!!!!!" My mother screamed. I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs "Yeah mom?" Her face was red and her fists were bawled up "Why are you not at school?!" I stuttered in the spot. I saw her eyes travel around the room and too the kitchen table were numerous beer cans, vodka bottles layed. "Have you been drinking?!" She yelled.

"What? Mom no. I don't drink" She raised her left hand and slapped me ageinst my face. "Mo-om I don't drink! You know that" She was fuming "Don't lie to me lyric! I will not tolorate that in my house!" I felt tears run down my cheeks "Oh says you mom! All of this shit is yours!" I said pointing to the table. 

She pushed me down to the ground with all her fource causing me to hit the back of my head off the wall. "Your a waste of space you know that right? I wish you were never born!" My mother said walking up to her room.

I groaned as I touched the rather large bump on the back of my head. I pulled myself up and walked upstairs and climbed into bed. 

What a shitty day. 

***~***~***Authors note***~***~***~***

Hey guys! 

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of breath me.

I know it's not very long, But it is the first chapter so jsut the opening :))

This story is dedicated to anyone who has ever gone threw depression, bullying, heart brakes, anxiety, Ext..

I will be updating this week for breath me so I hope you hug will like it (: I'm dedicating this book to my two very best friends sandra and katie <3 You guys have been threw so much In life and you deserve the best. Love you both :')

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Amy <3 ♫