Chapter 21

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Michel's POV
When I woke up, I heard Mark sleeping quietly behind me, his hand over my waist. I removed his hand and stood up. I felt so numb. I walked into the bathroom and looked at myself.
My eyes were red and buffy. Suddenly everything came back to me. I almost hurt Mark last night. I almost ruined him. „I need to get away." i whispered to myself.
I quietly walked into Mark's bedroom and got dressed and wrote Mark a note.
I quietly left the house. I decided to walk to my brother's house since it wasn't really far away. As I got there and just knocked on the door. The door was open by a chick in my brother's shirt. „Umm can I help you?" the chick asked clearly annoyed. „You can't but my brother can." I said as I choved past her. „Where the fuck you think you're going?" she screamed.
„I'm going to my big brother because I need his fucking confort because my best friend died few days ago" I screamed even louder.
„What the hell is going on down here?" my brother said when he walked down the stairs. „This clearly drug addict just came in and told me that you are his brother." Marco stopped and looked at me and then at the chick. „Get out bitch. No one, fucking no one calls my baby brother drug addict. Leave now and give me my shirt back."
„Whatever." said the girl when she ran upstairs. After 5 minutes she was gone.
„So what's wrong? Sorry but you look horrible." Marco asked. „It's Jack. He died from a drug overdose few days ago. Yesterday was his funeral. I've been crying for two days. That'd not the worat part. Mark, my babe, keeps conforting me. But last night." I made a pause and looked at Marco who just nodded. „But last night I suddenly felt this anger in me and before I could even react, I was already kissing him really roughly. I fucking ripped his shirt off. Yes ripped. I felt like I need to pour my anger in the love. When I started to take off his pants, he told me to stop but I didn't. He tried to push me away but I basicaly wanted to force myself on him. I'm a monster. I stopped after my mind registered what happened. I feel so guilty. I just left an hour ago. Leaving him a note. I hope he doesn't come here. I feel too guilty." I said whime looking on the ground. Marco came over and just hugged me. „It's was your anger which took over you. But did you get into a fight because of it? " I shook my head. „I apologized but he told me that he should apaologize for not being ready but that's just wrong. I forced myself on him."
„Maybe try to talk things straight? Because it's not good to keep things like that." Marco said as he hugged me. „Okay, I'm going to him now." I said as I stood up. „Umm I don't think you will because Mark is here." Marco said with a smile.
There was a knock on the door and Marco ran upstairs. „Talk things through." and with that Marco closed his room door.
I opened the door and felt someone hands around my neck. It was Mark.
God it was so good to be in his arms again.
I picked Mark up because he didn't let go off me. He wrapped his legs around my waist and I closed the door and walked into the living room. I sat on the couch with Mark still hugging me.
„Mark we need to talk." I said. Mark let go off my neck and looked at me with a scared look. „Y-y-you aren't leaving me ri-right?" he asked with a scared voice. „Of course not Mark. Don't even think about that. I'm yours forever. You won't get rid of me anymore." I felt Mark relax in my arms.
„I wanted to talk about last night. I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for doing that. You have the right to be angry with me. I just suddenly felt this anger in me and I wanted to let it out. So i'm so so sorry for forcing myself on you." I said as I looked in Mark's beautiful green eyes.
„I already said that it's okay baby. It's okay. I promise." With that he attacked my lips. The kiss was passionate and I loved every single second of it.
When I pulled away, Mark put his hands on my neck and put his head on my shoulder.
I heard him mumble something but I didn't hear it. „What did you say?" I asked him.
„I said that I'm so lucky to have you and I love you so Michel." I just hugged him tighter. „I love you too and I'm even more luckier to have you." I felt on my neck how Mark smiled.
I held him even tighter now when I suddenly felt a wave of sadness come over me. I felt my eyes getting watery. I buried my face into Michel's shoulder and let the tears fall.
Michel rised his head from my shoulder and just kissed my forehead. I put my head against his chest and just cried.
He held me and I felt him playing with my hair.

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