My life... (Completed)

Chapter 21

14 July. It was Claire's birthday today. Hana's relationship with Claire hadn't really improved. Hana still wasn't saying anything about contributing more in their friendship. Hana seriously didn't understand why she had to contribute in this friendship. They're just friends. What's with all that stuff about contributions? It was just totally ridiculous. Maybe it's still nice that they hadn't made up yet, this way she didn't have to come up with an excuse for not giving Claire her birthday present. Hana didn't understand why people had to have a present for their birthday. Hana's parents had never gotten her a present for her birthday, except for a birthday cake. And, her parents had stopped buying her a birthday cake since she was 11 or 12. So Hana really didn't understand why everyone had to make a big deal out of their birthday.

Now, in the canteen, there was a loud chorus of "happy birthday". Hana turned to look. It was Claire's new friends helping her celebrate her birthday. They even had a cake. Hana just couldn't get why people had to do this kind of thing. Why did they had to make the whole world know it's their birthday by celebrating it in the canteen? Why?! It's just their birthday. Hana found it annoying every time someone celebrated their birthday like this. What's the big deal anyway? Hana couldn't watch anymore and walked back to class.

***

Friday. Today's the club's farewell party for all those that were graduating. It was their last day in the club and Hana's last chance to see Zach during their club meeting sessions. Everyone was now busy writing messages for the seniors that were graduating before they came to the party. Hana's friend in the club, Nikki, passed her a piece of paper. It was the paper with farewell messages meant for Zach. Hana didn't know what to write, as usual. She totally wasn't going to give him any hint that she liked him. Plus, everyone would be looking at this piece of paper. They would know if she confessed here. Hana read some of the other messages that others had written to get some idea. In the end, she wrote: Good luck for your N levels! (N levels is an exam, in case you're wondering.)

It was such a short message, like the ones she had written for everyone else. Hana wasn't very close to her seniors. That's why she wrote short messages. Hana wondered what Zach would think of her message. Hana remembered how she felt when last year, at their club camp, everyone had to write someone nice of other people on their paper plate. She was so happy when she saw what Zach wrote. Even though all he wrote was "Quiet", Hana still felt happy because at least he knew she was a quiet person. She hoped he felt something at least when he saw her message. But, would he even know it was her who wrote it? Because the club president had the same name as her. And she was much closer to Zach than Hana. She hoped he had at least saw her message...

They finally started the farewell party. It was the usual games and then a special video for the seniors. It was nothing much but during the whole party, Hana kept stealing glances at Zach, trying not to make it noticeable. But she had met his eyes for a few times and quickly looked away. She wondered if he knew that she liked him.  

Now, everyone was now enjoying the food they had for the party. Hana sat with her close friends while still trying to steal glances at Zach who was sitting beside their table. Even her close friends in her club didn't know anything about her crush on Zach. She watched him as he talked to his friends. She's really going to miss him when he graduates. She won't be able to see him anymore. Hana wondered if maybe with time, she would be able to forget Zach. After all, it wasn't like she was going to confess or anything. Hana wouldn't be able to confess. She wasn't the kind of person to confess that she liked someone. She was just too cowardly to confess. She was also afraid that they'll reject her and the sadness of rejection that she'll feel afterwards. She was such an ugly person, with all that acne on her face. Hana was sure that no one would accept her confession. It was also one of the reasons why she didn't confess to anyone at all. 

The party had now come to an end. Everyone was slowly leaving with their friends. Hana wanted to wait for Zach to leave so she could stalk him on his way home but she was with her friends and she couldn't say that she liked him. She wasn't exactly stalking him. It's just that they went in the same direction for a while only. But still, Hana wanted to see him as much as possible this year since he was graduating this year. Hana couldn't get to stalk him home because he was busy talking to the school librarian and his friends. She tried going to the toilet to stall for time. But even then, he still hadn't stepped out of the library. As her last resort, Hana tried walking slowly. Zach still didn't appear. Hana gave up and started walking home, hoping that she'll get to see him again next Monday.

*** 

Hi... By now, I'm probably wondering if anyone has even managed to reach this chapter because no one has read the previous one. And plus, I'm a bit sad lately because of a lot of things like school, this book and my new book. Everything is making me so sad... T.T

Next update will be on 2 Aug. And please vote and stay for the next chapter!