Oh, joy. The author's notes.
Most of the writers on here make author's notes. I make author's notes, you make author's notes, we make author's notes.... You get my point.
There's nothing wrong with a little note in the beginning or end of a story/chapter/poem/whatever the hell people write these days. It gives readers a more personal connection with the writer, and it spreads positive energy.
BUT, people just tend to overdo them slightly. Meaning that they make them about half of the length of the actual chapter, and it's filled with useless nonsense. Not know what I'm talking about? Then you must live under another rock next to the bad boy rock. But, alas, I'll give an example:
*chapter ends*
AUTHOR'S NOTE: OH EM GEE GUYZZZZZ DID YA SEE WHAT HAPENED IN THAT CHAPTER?!?!?!?!?!?! I KNOW YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH AND BY THE WAYSSSS I GOT A NEW PUPPY YESTERDAY HIS NAME IS CUDDLES AND HE'S LIKE A POODLE WITH BEAUTIFUL WHITE FUR AND PERFECT LITTLE EYES AND OMGGGGGG...
*throws up in mouth*
Or, even better:
A/N: Guys I'm like so depressed because my boyfriend broke up with me. Wr were so perfect together and it just broke my heart......... (goes on for like five pages).
I'm sorry, but no one needs to know about your issues. As mean as that sounds, it's true. I don't know you; I'm just trying to read your stinking book. Please, please keep it relevant to your story.
Also, there's the too frequent author's notes. The ones that are in the beginning, middle, and end. Granted, I always put who I'm dedicating my stuff to in the beginning and my short notes in the end. But I mean that some people just put a paragraph of a/n in the beginning (which is alright) but basically regurgitate it in the end.
It wastes space; it wastes characters; it wastes time.... Therefore, it's not needed! Most people will skip over them anyway.
Then there's the middle of the chapter authors notes. Y'know, the kind where smack in the middle of a chapter you see some random blip that has absolutely nothing to do with well, anything.
I never understood that. Why the hell would you need to put an author's note in the middle of the freaking story. Think about it:
It's a very suspenseful and dramatic scene, where InsertCheesyNameHere is standing in front of InsertOtherCheesyName here. The first Insert kneels down on one knee and takes out a small black box. The second Insert gasps. Then:
(a/n: omg what do you think is gonna happen?!?!?!?!?!?! Do you think he'll propose to her?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)
Gee, I don't know. Maybe I could've just read the next paragraph, without interuption? *mutters under breath like a crazed old man*
And you know what a combination of these things makes me do? Yeah, that's right, stop reading the damn thing like it's nunya business.
So, TIPS:
Make an author's note to thank your readers or to address relevant topics. Using one a/n per part is enough, trust me. Even if it's a whole paragraph.
Keep things relevant for the sake of your readers, because remember: the author's notes are the readers' connection to the author, so the way you 'put yourself out there' in your a/n's reflect on how they think of you. Think 'bout that, yeah?
Vote if you think you know how to make author's notes.
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author's note: thanks for reading, my minions! More rants to come soon!
ČTEŠ
A Wattpadder's Guide (Rant/Tips)
NezařaditelnéI, the all-knowing overlord, will guide you, my minions, through all of the horrific things that wattpad writers have to offer, and will teach you how NOT to become one of them. Cover made by @The_Infinity
