A Wattpadder's Guide (Rant/Tips)

i lyk 2 write lyk dis

Hi. Hello there. Long time no rant. Anyway...

So today I'm ranting about people with apparently no basic English grammar skills attempting to write a story. It's like letting a dude who's never driven a car in his life compete in NASCAR. You'll crash and burn...well, figuratively, when we're talking about writing.

I will say right now that English isn't my first language. Russian is. So for all the people using 'English is my second language therefore I am forever limited' excuse doesn't really work on me. Sure, I've known English for about ten years, while some people hardly have any exposure to it. But if you know you can't write in English, write in your native language! Get a translator! Find people who can read in your language and BOOM you have a fan base!

It really doesn't take much thought for that kind of situation.

It's not even that scenario that rallies me up, since I understand the whole 'I have no idea what I'm doing because I don't know a lick of English.' It's the native English speakers- those who've been chattering nonstop in that language all their life and take classes at their school! And you know what you do in English class? You write! You learn grammar! You learn to create an illusion that you're a cultured and intelligent person by not sounding like an illiterate moron!

So WHY are so many stories (many of those written by native speakers) go something like this:

'yo yo yo i wawked 2 da storee 2 get me som milk nd eggs nd otha shizzle yo.'

I understand if you want to write like this while texting your bestie or your mom or your drug dealer. I use some text speak when texting because I'm lazy and the only people who would see me not in my smartass glory is my mom, my best friend, and this weird kid from camp who's made it a habit to text me every day. Anyway, in any form of formal or creative writing (ie essays, poems, prose, formal letters, etc) use the skills your teachers wasted so much time hammering in your head!

I'm not bashing on the people who mix up 'your' and 'you're' or 'there' and 'their.' Everyone makes that mistake sometime or another. Those are common grammar errors that can be fixed with a proof read, but the story can still be decent.

What I am speaking in a negative way about is the people who literally write as if texting or trying to imitate 'gangsta' dialect. Sorry to break it to you, but you're never going to go anywhere in life if you can't learn how to write in a way that shows that you're the least bit literate. It's a fact of life.

I'm not saying that you're stupid or that I'm smarter than you or anything, but no one wants to read text speak crap (kinda contradictory because of the amount of reads some of these 'stories' get), and it's not like something like that will attract prestigious publishers.

So do us all a favor- learn to write at least semi properly or don't even bother trying.

Vote if you don't write in text language.