A Wattpadder's Guide (Rant/Tips)

I need a wattpad BOYFRIEND!!!

Yes, this time has come. The infamous boyfriend threads. *clears throat*

So one day, this girl who has air in her head instead of a brain, logs onto wattpad. She ignores the 'create' button where she can write fan fictions with alarm clock beginnings and ten page author's notes. She also disregards all the Harry-Styles-kidnapping-porn stories on her reading lists. Instead, she stumbles upon the café forum and creates a new thread. And what does this thread say?

I REAAALLLLYYYY WANT A WATTPAD BOYFRIEND LIKE OMG!!!!!!!

Now, let me say what is irrefutably wrong about this scenario:

1. Um, last time I checked, this was not eHarmony's second headquarters.

2. You do know that the so-called sixteen year old hottie could be a fifty year old druggy living in his mother's basement, eats raw squirrels, and rapes small children, right? RIGHT?!?

3. To an innocent onlooker, creating one of those threads spells ATTENTION WHORE and DESPERATE!

4. You know that hot guys WON'T come a-courting with roses and chocolates, right? It'll be mostly girls, maybe guys, telling you how ridiculous and delusional you are. They'd make a joke out of you.

So theoretically, by making a thread like that, it's basically a bird call for people to make fun of you before it'd get closed by a moderator. Then the whole ordeal would just be a waste of time and energy.

BUT, before I say anything else, the hate threads made about boyfriend threads are equally as stupid in my opinion. Why?

1. Dude, we all hate it. We get it. No need to fill the café with more nonsense. Enough.

2. I'm not saying it's okay to hate on people who are air headed enough to make those threads. Though I find it funny to poke fun at them, it's enough when over twenty people are throwing insults at one girl. That's called cyber bullying. All the more reason why I'm ranting here instead of in the café.

3. Let me just rephrase number one. After a while, it gets old. It's not funny anymore and it's just a waste of time and could potentially slow down the servers. Also, it's one thing to leave a funny sarcastic comment on a boyfriend thread, but it's another thing to act like it's all your business and like making a hate thread for it would do anything. Because it isn't.

So, moral of the story, if you want a romantic relationship, go to match.com or eharmony or whatever, or... Go out with someone who lives in your area!! And to the hate thread makers:

It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt. Kay?

Vote if you just sit back with popcorn and laugh a your screen whenever you see these threads.