Don't Leave Us (BTS FANFIC) #Wattys2016

8. Barely Hanging On

Narrator's POV

It was a tough journey back to the hospital. Even though the park was near the hospital, Jungkook felt like he was walking a million miles to a destination that will never arrive.

His body felt too weak to even walk, let alone push Tae on his wheelchair. His speed got slower and slower and his whole body felt cold as a light spring breeze passed by.

"Ohman, where did the strong and muscular Kookie go, did you not eat or is it that you havent been exercising lately?" Taehyung commented, hinting Jungkook's snail like speed.

"Ahh sorry Tae, i'll go faster" Jungkook said as he bit his lips tightly and used his remaining energy to push the wheelchair.

Thinking about Tae's comments, Jungkook recalled of his recent activities. He was either sleeping, practicing, or suffering from a pain attack. He used to be able to practice dance for 3 hours without any break, but now, even an hour seems too much for his weak body to handle as he has to take several breaks in between. He was always breathless and found it hard to move his body according to the beat as his body would always move slower than the beat. His steps were no longer sharp and nice but were now slow and sluggish. Everytime he looked at himself dance in the mirror, he would hate his body for being so weak and would be unsatisfied with the outcome of the practice. He then goes hard on himself as he forced his body to practice for another 30minutes without a break. Even though this seems like an easy feat, but to the sick Jungkook, this was a harsh punishment to his body for not obeying him. It was lucky that the team had mostly only self practice instead of group practice due to taehyung and the rotation. If not, the members would definitely realise that something is off with Jungkook.

However, the hyungs practicing in the same room as him did realise some of his odd behaviours as he often went to the toilet (to hide his pain attacks when it came) and his dance steps no longer had that powerful aura from it. They noticed that his face didn't look too good as well. But none of them has paid much attention to these, thinking that he may just be tired, just like how all the members are.

After what feels like an eternity, Jungkook and Taehyung finally reached the hospital room. Suga was already there, sitting on the couch and waiting for them.

"Suga hyung, I'll pass over to you now, I am leaving first, bye!" Jungkook said hurriedly. He grabbed his bag and rushed out of the room, leaving Taehyung and Suga puzzled.

Once he was outside the room, he stumbled as he tried to regain his balance and energy to walk towards the lift. As he felt his legs giving up, he grabbed onto the nearest bench and sat himself down. After gaining a little more strength from the rest, he walked slowly to the taxi stand at the first level of the hospital and flagged a taxi to get back home.

2 weeks later

The cycle that Jungkook experienced just repeats over and over again throughout the two weeks. However, his condition was much worser than before. From the bubbly Jungkook, he became a quiet boy with few words. Even speaking was energy consuming to him. The members started to realise that something is seriously wrong with their precious maknae Jeon Jung Kook. They kept on checking with him if he was feeling ok and commented on how pale, sick and skinny he looked.

In order to keep his condition a secret from his hyungs, he spent every last bit of his energy on perfecting his dance performance, such that it was no longer as filmsy as before. He knew that if his dance looked too bad, it would be way obvious to his hyungs as he is known as one of the best dancers in BTS, alongside with J-hope and Jimin. Though his body was still not able to perform the dance to the standard as good as he used to be, his practice sessions did help him to at least not miss any beats and sharpened his moves slightly.

Jungkook also took the effort to apply makeup on his face every morning to avoid showing his bare face to the members. Despite the efforts, makeup still couldn't fully hide his sickly face and that's why the members noticed and asked about it.

He also managed to hide the pain attacks from his hyungs by swallowing many pain medication pills every day and retreating into the toilet whenever it gets too bad. The pain medication only made him feel a tiny bit less pain, but it didn't make much of a difference anyways, so retreating to the toilet was still the best way. Many times, the pain was so great and unbearable that he laid down on the toilet floor, whimpering and crying out in pain. He would then toss and turn his body, hoping that it could shake the pain away. He would sometimes use his fist to hit the cover of the toilet bowl when it gets too painful to bear.

As the days go by, Jungkook's health deteriorates. The pain attacks became more and more frequent and it took a toll on his body. His sunken eyes and pale, bloodless complexion made him look ghostly. Jungkook also lost a fair bit of weight because he had no appetite to eat and so his clothes started looking loose on him.

His body always felt cold which explains why he is always wearing a jacket even if he is indoors. His cold hands and feet would go numb so often that he had to constantly rub them against a hot pack so that his blood would flow better. Jungkook will always be tired and breathless and sometimes did not even have the energy to walk.

He is basically on the brink of losing it, as he felt that his weak body could no longer keep up with the simplest tasks like walking.

Still, he held on. For the sake of his hyungs. For the sake of BTS. For the sake of ARMYs.