A Touch Of Summer Love

Chapter 9

Author's note:
Hey guys! I know I haven't posted in about 5 days or maybe more but it's all because of what I have to write about now. It frightened me to have to remember all that I felt through September to have to write this chapter so please bare with me. It may be a bit "heavy" I guess I can say. I got writers block when I realized that I would have to touch this topic again. But today the #wattys2016 started and it gave me the strength to write again. I'm all good now; just a small fyi for this next chapter.
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September. My birth month. The month I had been waiting for to turn 17 years old. I remember being so excited for it to be my birthday week or birthday everyday. I was so happy and not only that, but about two weeks after it, I would be going to a 5sos concert to celebrate it and I would get to see Nicholas Spade again after: 1... 2.. 3 months! It had been three months since I had last seen him and school had started for me early August while he was still vacationing.

September. What happened to me? Why did I lose that spark, that light within me on my birth month...

Well, as some may know, senior year is supposed to be "chill", all fun and games and exciting. You had already passed through 11 dreadful grades; eleventh grade being the worst of all, so the last one; according to everyone, would be the best year yet. That's what we all thought until of course, the months kept passing by.

College. The mere thought of it caused me to be sick. Not wanting to face the reality of thinking that I would have to leave my comfortable nest I had grown up in. I've grown up super family oriented so the thought of not having my parents near me gave me nightmares. The whole college process for me became a nightmare.

I tried to avoid it, but obviously couldn't. My mom, an "up and coming" college counselor made sure that these thoughts wouldn't get the best of me, but of course it didn't work.

Have you ever been depressed? Or felt like everything is crashing down right in front of your eyes and you don't know how to react or what to do? That's how I spent my oh-so-lovely birth month. Counting down the days for it all to be over.

After the concert and meeting up with Nicholas, my world pretty much came crashing down and I, well, I guess I became depressed... I remember telling my mother, "please, please don't let me become one of those depressed teenagers"; and look at me now. My world became gray, I saw death in everything, I feared not waking up everyday, and I became afraid of everything. I ended up seeing every day as my last. e

That night before the concert, as soon as I arrived, I called my grandparents to pick me up and Nicholas, since we had arranged to meet up at a restaurant to have dinner and catch up. When we saw each other again, we couldn't believe our eyes. When I was walking in to the place, my cousin was walking in front of me and said, "I bet that's him", and it was. He was on his phone and as soon as I opened my mouth, he looked up in shock.

"No way is that you!", was all he could say and I walked up to him and hugged him; a very short and shaky hug. "This is for you btw", he said while handing me over a massive box of chocolates.

When we sat down on the bench waiting for the table, I couldn't help but notice how nervous he actually was. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked him seeing as his hands were fiddling on his phone screen trying to fix an Instagram post. "Yeah. Is this picture fine? A--and the caption?" When I looked at the picture; of course, there she was; his girlfriend standing next to him not looking very happy. It seemed like they were in a party and the caption said "goal: to keep you smiling"; or something like that... Except she wasn't smiling. "Nicho, she isn't smiling, isn't that like contradicting?" I asked him with no intention of getting him upset, but he responded back defensively that she was smiling previously. So I let him be, and when he posted the picture, he made me comment on it even though I told him a good three times I didn't want to. And the comments he was receiving weren't all that good too. I guess I wasn't the only one to notice how she wasn't all smiley.

Anyways, you know what they say; "time flies when you're having fun" and indeed, it did. Soon enough, it was 2am and we had to go our separate ways. We took various pictures and parted ways. When I got in the car, my whole family was commenting on how he was such a nice and educated kid and basically making me laugh at the stories they immediately made up of us. When I sat in the back of the car with my cousin, I couldn't help but check out his picture again and that's when my world came "crashing down".

In the picture, he was wearing the exact outfit he had on when he was out with me. Nicholas Spade left his girlfriend at a party and drove down to see me at the restaurant. No wonder he was a shaking mess...