The Explorer's Apprentice

68:Remembering Jamie

Arabelle D’Ewes

She’s running in the ocean. The water is so icy cold she cries out, but then she’s okay. The sea pushes her back like a slap in the face, and then embraces her like a hug.

No, it’s not the ocean. It’s a flood. Belle can’t contain the little scream that escapes her as she jumps into the water. She’s already winded from running down the stairs, but she can’t stop, not now. Not when she’s so close.

Mr. Lovejoy said he’s down here, somewhere. I will find you Jack, Belle promises. I will prove myself. We will have our time together.

Her lungs feel like they are about to burst. Belle’s fingers are already going numb, but she manages to untie the tangle of strings on her corset. Holding her throbbing side, Belle presses forward relentlessly.

There is a boy on shore. He asks if she’s okay, and he runs in after her. She says yes, because she doesn’t want him to worry about her. She can’t back out, not today.

Belle blinks her eyes, trying to focus, and the salty water stings. Where are all these pictures coming from? She hasn’t visited the ocean since… Why, she can’t even remember! And who is this boy she keeps thinking of? She’s never met him.

“Jack!” she calls, for the millionth time. Belle’s voice sounds so small, so alone. For the millionth time, she gets no answer. The water is up to her knees.

Little objects float past, little memories. Bigger things, sunk to the bottom, brush Arabelle’s legs, and she shudders. A music box sails around her. There goes an umbrella. A doll. A single shoe. People loved those things once, but now all they care about is saving their own skins. But guaranteed, as soon as this is all over, they’ll go back to caring about things. Things. As if things can love back. As if things are more important than people.

Something tangles up in her foot. Belle drags her leg up, repulsed by the overwhelming smell of fish and rot that permanently clings to her skirt. She tears off the object. It’s a necklace, a pretty little thing. The pendant is shaped like a shell.

She’s walking on the beach now. It’s hot out, and the beautiful boy is walking beside her. He’s found a shell, and he puts it into the bucket he carries. She likes it when their fingers touch. She likes everything about him. The sea breeze ruffles his golden hair, the exact same color as the sand.

Belle throws the necklace as far as she can. She doesn’t like—whatever these are. They feel like memories. But these memories aren’t hers.

“Jack! Jack, where are you? Jack!”

She tries a door. A wall of water slams down on her small body, pouring out in a torrent. Sputtering and coughing, Belle crawls away, wracked with pain. She’s absolutely soaked now, and she can feel the water and the cold making her slower, weighing her down. Belle tries to push the strings of dirty, wet hair out of her eyes, but she can’t. Her fingers are too numb now, too swollen with cold to be useful.

He pushes the hair out of her eyes. He asks if she’s okay, if she wants to stop. She chokes up the water in her throat. No wave is strong enough to keep her down.

The waterline is climbing, nearly to her thighs. Belle comes to an intersection. She chooses right.

She won’t back out, not today. She has a bucket full of seashells and a surfboard and him. Today is her day. Today is their day.

One door is open. One door, in this empty, dead hallway. It can’t be a mistake.

Jamie is going to teach her to surf.

“Jack! Jack! I’m here!” She slogs through the water. It’s almost up to her waist now, and so, so cold.

“Jack I’m here, I’m here! Don’t worry! You’re safe now! Oh, Jamie, I love you!"