Hannah Hart || Oneshots

Break Ups and Make Ups | Hangrid

Ingrid and I were shouting at each other once again. I didn't even know why we started fighting in first place. It was probably something stupid. But then again, we seemed to always fight these days and it was always about something stupid. I didn't want to, because I saw how it hurt both of us and I was sure Ingrid saw it too, but both of us just couldn't seem to help it.

"Jeez, Hannah, just listen to what I say to you once! Is it really that hard?!"

"What do you mean? I'm trying so hard, Ingrid, I really am. I'm trying to make this work!", I answered, trying to keep calm, but my whole body shaking, while gesturing between the two of us. "I'm trying to somehow keep this up and all I get from you is you getting mad at me for everything. All I get is being shouted at for literally nothing. You barely even talk to in a normal tone anymore! What do you want Ingrid? Could you please explain what the fuck your problem is?! Because I have no idea what I have done this time!"

I somehow seemed to have lost it. My voice was way louder than what I wanted it to be and I couldn't stop to scream at Ingrid. I seemed to have lost all control over what left my mouth, the filter between my thoughts and what I was saying wasn't there anymore. I just screamed, screamed, screamed until there was nothing more to say and my lungs felt as if I hadn't breathed properly for a few hours. Everything else had been a blur while I was shouting but now I started realize what I was seeing. Ingrid sat on the couch, her shoulders shaking from sobbing. She looked down and didn't even try to fire back.

It was only then I realized how bad I had just hurt her. And I knew I couldn't keep hurting her like this. It wasn't the first time I had thought about it. In fact I had lied awake whole nights trying to figure out whether it was a good solution or not. But right now it didn't matter if it was a good or a bad solution, because it seemed to be the only solution. Even though I knew it was going to break me into a million pieces. Even though I wasn't sure how I was going to survive the pain that was going to follow. I had to save Ingrid and this was the only way I could think of.

I sat down next to her, cuddling up to her, feeling her melt into my embrace. I hated myself for what I was going to do, but right now I just held her close. I held her until her body stopped shaking an even a little while longer, feeling how my shirt got wet from her tears. For what seemed like forever we sat in silence. Finally I started to speak.

"Ingrid..."

My voice was nothing but a whisper, raspy from all the screaming, just loud enough for her to hear. She looked up, her eyes all red from all the crying, mascara smudged under them.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Whatever I do, I... I just seem to hurt you. I don't want to keep hurting you. I can't keep hurting you like this. I just... I just can't. I'm so sorry."

Ingrid knitted her eyebrows together.

"What do you mean, Hannah?"

Then she realized what I meant. It could have only been my imagination or projection, but I saw something break behind her beautiful hazel eyes, before she spoke again.

"So...you're going to break up with me. I... I... Han, what am I going to do without you? I mean... I mean, I love you."

This time her voice was nothing more than a whisper, her eyes watering again.

"Ingrid, I love you, too. I really, really do. More than I have ever loved anybody. But that's exactly why I am doing this. I can't let anybody hurt you and I know I am hurting you right now but in the long run... this will hurt less. I... I'm sorry. I don't know what to do anymore."

Ingrid just nodded. We sat there for another while, the two of us not realizing what just had happened. I couldn't believe what I had brought myself to do, but I was sure I had made the right decision. Nobody spoke until Ingrid murmured: "I... better get going then"