Lié(s)-Septiplier

{12}

And

everything stood still until Felix dropped his hold on Mark's hand. The action shocked Mark and he winced but Felix was too stunned to say anything. He shook his head in disbelif, distancing himself a bit away from Mark.

"Kiss...Kiss.." Felix swallowed, struggling to speak, "You want me to..you want me.."

"Yeah," Mark murmured, "I want you to kiss me."

Felix let himself close his eyes, the light in the bathroom suddenly too bright. His heart was racing in his chest, the thought of how the aniticipation must be killing mark made him feel guilty. But what could he say? This was one of his best friends. How could he just...kiss him?

"Mark," Felix kept his eyes closed but he could still feel Mark's gaze burning into him like fire. "You realize..that-"

"That what?" Mark bit out, the wait being too much for him, "That I also have feelings for Jack? Yeah I know, I'm a mess, but youre a big part of my life too. I don't need Jack, Felix, not if I have you." He tried to bite his tongue and stop himself, but he was too upset. He needed to get this off this chest.

He tasted blood, but he didnt care, "Don't leave me hanging okay? I don't think i can handle being alone again and I don't want to test the theory-"

"Mark."

"What?"

"I'm.." Felix stood, and Mark watched as his figure got farther away. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Mark, I'm sorry."

This was it, and Mark knew it. He could feel it in his bones, ripping through his chest, knawing at his heart. He could feel the rejection like a hot iron brandishing his skin. It was like he knew it all along but was too damn stubborn to listen to the truth. Because the truth hurt and it killed him and he hated the feeling.

"Me too."

Felix backed towards the door but didn't leave, instead he just frowned like Mark was the saddest thing he had ever seen. "I want to tell you about someone. But I need to know that you're okay, that you won't completely lose it." He was being gentle, Mark could sense it. But he could also sense what ws coming next and he didn't like it very much.

Despite his feelings, Mark nodded, sitting straighter and trying not to cry. Somewhere deep down he had already suspected this would happpen. Felix wasn't his, he isn't lucky enough to have him. If he was being honest with himself, he didn't even deserve Felix. The whole time he had been with Mark was all too good to last. Mark knew that and maybe that's why it didn't hurt too much when Felix recoiled.

"Okay," Felix reached out, offering his hand and Mark wearily took it, "Let's sit on the bed again, how about that?"

Mark allowed Felix to help him up and together they left the bathroom and settled onto Mark's bed. He was eerily calm, Felix probably expected him to cry or scream or overall shut down. Instead, Mark sat still, memorizing the triangular pattern of a shirt strewn across his floor.

"You okay?" He tilted his head, oceanic like eyes shadowed with concern. Mark nodded again and Felix attempted at a smile but it fell flat when Mark shrugged in return.

"I'm okay, Felix. I just...." Mark bit the inside of his cheek, heart beating out of rhythm, "I just want to know who she is."

"Her name's Marzia," Felix spoke up quickly, Mark assumed that this was his way of trying to calm him down. What Felix didn't know was that Mark was calm. He was just trying to collect all of his thoughts into one cooperative idea. And that was hard.

"...I met her about four months ago...through a web chat. I was, uh, friends with her friend for awhile..all online..and then one day she showed up." Felix probably hadn't noticed how his face had contorted in the last minute, but Mark did. It was remarkable how fast felix's face seemed to change. His frown was gone, and instead a ghost of a smile. His eyes seemed to glimmer as he looked past Mark, not even registering his actual surroundings.