Stutter

I Can't Believe This Happened

Exactly a week after Levi left, I was starting to feel better. I started acting like myself again and it made everyone around me feel better as well knowing I wasn't hurting. I was home alone for awhile before a knock on the door came to my attention.

I opened the door to a tall Military man standing on the other end. I didn't recognize him at all. My stomach dropped and i felt my blood run cold. I had a feeling I knew what was about to happen and I was not okay. I felt the tears in my eyes before he even said anything.

"Are you Mrs. Knox?" The man asked.

I shook my head.

"I'm Addison Knox," I murmured. "I'm the daughter."

"Well," He said. "I'm sorry to tell you this but your brother Levi Knox has died."

I didn't move. I felt frozen in place, I couldn't say or do anything.

"He died while saving three of his men from a road-side bombing..." He explained to me everything that happened but I zoned out.

I couldn't think of anything except the fact that Levi, my older brother, my partner in crime, my best friend,  was dead and I couldn't do anything about it. I would never see him again. I would never hear him talk again. I would never get into bickering fights while playing video games ever again. 

"I'm very sorry for your loss," I heard the man say.

I vaguely remember him handing me an envelope  and shutting the door after he walked away. I finally broke down.

I screamed, I yelled, I cried. I couldn't contain anything. I grabbed the vase off the table next to the door and chucked it across the room. It slammed against the wall and shattered the tiny pieces. I pushed the tab;e over as well and even punched the wall. I screamed some more and kept crying. When I lost all energy, I curled into a ball and just cried.

I couldn't stop myself from crying. Everything in my body was crying with me. I leaned against the wall and just bawled my eyes out. Soon, the front door was opening and I didn't move or react. 

"What happened?!" I barely heard.

I didn't answer but I did register that it was Ash's voice. 

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

I still didn't reply.

He noticed the envelope sitting on the floor and took the piece of paper out of it. After reading it, he sat next to me and help me. I wrapped my arms around him and continued to cry. Ash tried to soothe me the best that he could but there isn't much that he could do. This wasn't a physical pain. It's all emotional and there's nothing to do to fix a broken heart. Only to help mend it but what could he do when it was this fresh?

When my parents got home, Ash handed them the letter and my mom also broke down. Not as bad as I had by breaking and throwing things but she also bawled her eyes out. Dad did his best to help, just like Ash but dad was crying as well.

My biggest fear came to life and know I didn't know what to do. I went up to my room after a few minutes and curled into a ball on my bed. Ash came in after me and sat on the edge of the bed. I had stopped crying, completely dried up. There was nothing left in me to cry so I just stared blankly at the wall.

"I'm so sorry," Ash mumbled.

He ran his hand through my hair, soothing me.

"I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you're in," He said.

I couldn't even bring myself to blink, let alone respond to him. It didn't seem to phase him that I wasn't replying. He knew how much Levi meant to me and now that he's gone, all he wants is to help me but he can't.

So many thoughts ran through my mind. So many different things, so many different conclusions, different outcomes came to mind. I don't know how much time passed but Ash was now passed out next to me. His arm around my waist and his breath softly blowing across my neck. 

It didn't matter. It didn't matter what time it was. It didn't matter how long as passed. All that mattered was that my brother was forever gone, Ash stayed by my side, and I've come to a conclusion.