Lyrics to My Life (First Book in Life Series)

Chapter 6

This is the last time I'm asking you why, you break my heart in the blink of an eye
~Taylor Swift, The Last Time, 2012

I sit in the picture window in my bedroom for most of Saturday. I sit there in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. I have my hair in a messy bun and I am a mess. A giant mess. I gave up on crying about an hour ago. I think I got tired of blowing my nose and that is why I gave up. I look out the window and see the cows eating in the field. I see Cash working on the fence. Della had to go grocery shopping with Gran. I think they both wanted to give me space. I haven't seen Callahan all day, not like I want to, and Dallas is somewhere.

I hear the door to my bedroom open. I don't look to see who it is. I continue to stare out the window, staring at everything I have missed for the last five years. "You are coming with me into town, Monroe."
Dallas says.

"I don't have a choice, do I?" I ask.

"Nope." He says.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To the hardware store. We need to buy some things we ran out of here." Dallas says. "Meet me in my truck in ten minutes." He instructs before leaving me to my own devices.

I only pull on a pair of boots. I'm too miserable to actually get dressed. I'm in the truck with two minutes to spare. Dallas gets in after me with a list of stuff the farm needs. "I should've known you weren't actually gonna change." He says.

"You should've." I say with a small smile.

Dallas has always been like my brother. He is protective but likes to tease me too. He knows my secrets and wouldn't tell a soul. I don't see him as anything else but a brother.

"Della told me what happened." He admits as we pull into the parking lot of the hardware store.

"I figured." I say. I'm not mad at my sister for it either.

We wander through the store, Dallas picking up the stuff the farm needs. I feel like a ghost going through the store. Luckily I see no one I know and no one recognizes me. I don't want to fake a smile. It seems too difficult.

On the way home, Dallas stops at a fast food restaurant, McDonald's to be exact. When we were teenagers, we would always have McDonald's at some point in the week. Dallas orders for me. He hands me hash browns and an iced coffee. My favorite. He eats his giant cheeseburger while driving back to the farm. As we wait at the stop light, his phone rings. He picks up. "What's up, Cash?" He asks. During the next ten seconds, his face gets red with anger. He hangs up after a minute.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"You'll see soon enough." He responds. Now I'm worried.

We pull into the driveway barely five minutes later. Cash is standing on the porch next to Blake. Now Cash does not look happy. I get out of the truck. I start to walk towards the porch before Dallas stops me. "Are you sure, Monroe?" He asks. His eyes are filled with worry.

"I am sure." I say. He lets me walk the rest of the way to the porch.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Cash says, sounding annoyed. "It dragged in a pile of shit." I try not to laugh. Blake tries not to punch him.

"Blake." I say.

"Monroe, I'm so incredibly sorry." He says.

"Why did you do what you did with Chelsea?" I ask.

"It was nothing to me." He says. Cash stifles a laugh.

"That's what they all say." Cash says to himself. I feel Dallas's presence behind me. It's comforting in a way.

"That is not an explanation." I say.

"It is. One thing led to another and yeah. It was nothing." He says tying to act nonchalant.

"Nothing my ass!" I yell. "When did it start?!" I ask.

"It was only once!" He replies. He is lying because he yelled his answer. Whenever he starts yelling, he is lying.

"Tell me the truth, Blake." I say. "I deserve the truth." I add.

"It happened six months ago." He admits.

"How many times?" I ask.

"Do these guys have to be here?!" He asks, almost disgusted.

"Yes. They are my friends. Practically brothers." I say. "I love them as my friends and brothers. Get over it."

"About once sometimes twice a week." I almost throw up at his answer. I see Callahan out of the corner of my eye coming our way.

"You are a real bastard." I say. Callahan has now reached us.

"Well you are a cunt!" He yells. Now there is one thing you don't want to do around Cash, Callahan, and Dallas. That is insulting someone they love. Callahan has Blake by the collar and Cash looks like he is about ready to bring out his shotgun. It actually would not surprise me if he did. Dallas remains next to me but I can tell he really wants to beat the crap outta Blake.

"You never EVER insult Monroe, asshole!" Callahan says. "You are fucking lucky Cash here hasn't shot you yet. He ain't afraid of prison time."

"I think I prefer prison then ever seeing you again." Cash says.

"I hate country boys." Blake says. "Always looking for a fight."

"We don't look for fights. We protect the ones we love even if it means fighting. And we love Monroe." Callahan says. "You know what? I really hate city boys. You guys don't know how to respect a lady." He lets go of Blake's collar and steps away. Blake looks down at me from the porch. His eyes are full of hatred.

"You weren't that good in bed anyway." He says. "I've had better." He adds. I'm about ready to slap him. The only thing stopping me is Dallas. He is holding me in place.

"Monroe is fucking amazing in bed." Callahan says. No one knew about the two of us. Cash is in shock and it wouldn't surprise me if Dallas is too. "You were just preoccupied with someone else to realize how good she is."

"How would you know she is amazing in bed?" Blake asks. "Why would she ever hook up with you?"

"I ask myself the same thing. Why would she hook up with me in high school? It puzzles me. And how would I know she is amazing? Because I hooked up with her a lot in high school. She was the only girl I hooked up with during those four years. Since then I have had other hook ups but none compare to her. Now I think Monroe would like you to leave and never come back. Also don't contact her either or Cash here will hunt you down."

"I would gladly do that too." Cash comments.

Blake drives away. Callahan doesn't say anything to me and he immediately goes back to working. Cash heads back to the fence after giving me a giant bear hug. Now I am left with Dallas. "Is it true that you and Callahan hooked up in high school?" He asks.

"Yes." I reply.

"How did no one find out until now?"

"I don't know." I reply.

Gran and Della come back from grocery shopping about thirty minutes later. Dallas fills Della in on the latest events.