Pure anger.

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Thank you, person who is reading this right now!

I don't have anything to talk about, so I'll just start c:

(Sorry for all the swearing, I just think this would happen in a situation like that)

By the way, this is a really shitty chapter sorry for that
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I groan, and lay my arm down on my stomach.

I don't want to wake up yet, I'm too tired for that.

Do I have an interview today?
I hope not.

I just want to lay in my bed forever and do nothing.

Totally nothing.

Just sleeping.

I roll a little, until I touch something hard with my head.

What's that?

I can feel hard hairs pricking at my face.

Is that a hedgehog or something?

What is a hedgehog doing in my bed?

What the hell...

I open my eyes slowly, and then I realize something.

I'm not in my bed.
This isn't even my room.

I-I fell asleep...

Nonononono!
This can't be true.

I stayed awake right?
I know I did.

But do I know that for sure?

"Shit shit shit..." I whisper, trying to get myself to think straight.

But my thoughts mix through each other.

Only one feeling stands out.

Anger.

Pure anger.

"FUCK!!!" I scream, and I move my hands to tug at my hair.

"I'M SO FUCKING STUPID!"

I start to pull at my hair even more, while angy tears begin to drip down my face.

"I'M SUCH A- RAAAAHHH!!!"

I bend forward, and start slamming my fists into the ground.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!"

I can feel my knuckles hurting, but I just keep punching my fists into the grey stone.

I stand up, and walk over to the grey door with firm strides.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FUCKING LOCKING ME UP LIKE THIS?!!
WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!
HELL! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

I begin to punch the door now, desperately trying to break through.

"AND I WILL GET OUT OF HERE! I'M GOING TO GET YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

I swing my hand back, and hit the door hard.

It's the wrong hand.

It starts to hurt, really bad.

I can see blood seeping through the dark green fabric, colouring it even darker.

One drip of crimson red starts falling.

Time starts to slow down, as I just watch it, falling down to the ground.

I can't do anything.

I can't even move.

As it touches the ground, it splatters into hundreds of little droplets, that start flying around in every direction.

Only one little red spot stays behind.

A little red spot on the floor.

If really small people existed, it could be a pool, or a lake.

A little red lake.

Stupid me.

Thinking I could get out of here.

Ofcourse I can't.

I can't just break the door and run away.

I can't.

I'm not strong enough.

Maybe the boys are happy I'm gone.

That's why they're not searching for me.

I've always been a waste of space.

I'm nothing.

"It's all your fault, all your fault. Everything is your fault..." I whisper to myself.

"It's your fault."

I ball my hands into fists.

"It's your fault!"

I step into the little drop of blood.

"It's your fault!!!"

I turn myself to the wall, and stare at it.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!"

Then I start to punch.

I start ramming my fists into the stone wall.

Over, and over, and over.

I can't even see what I'm doing anymore, everything is just a red haze.

My punches are only dull background noises.

Almost the only thing I can hear is my own breating and snorts of rage, resounding in my head until I can't hear anything anymore.

I'm dumb.
I'm stupid.

I don't deserve Niall.

Heck! Niall doesn't even love me.
He hates me.
He never even liked me a little bit!

Stupid me.

Everything starts spinning, but I don't care.
I just keep on trying to punch this wall down.
Trying to prove myself wrong.

My head is throbbing, it's like my own heart is hitting the inside of my head with every heartbeat.

Punch...punch...punch...

This wall needs to fall.

And I am the one that can break it down.

I am the one.

I need to prove myself wrong.

I need to prove myself I can get myself out of here.

That I can be a real man.

I start to get blinded by tears, my sight getting more and more blurry by the second.

I will fight.

I will fight to get out of here.

"I WILL...I WILL!!!"

Everything keeps spinning, and my throat starts to hurt because of my screaming.

It feels like I swallowed a big piece of sandpaper.

I gulp nervously, and my punches get slower and slower.

I bite down on my lip, and try to keep my tears from falling.

I can do it, right?

I can bring this wall down.

"No..."

A quiet whisper comes from my chapped lips.

"No..."

Something builds up in my throat, and I try to keep it in, but I'm not strong enough anymore.

A big sob escapes from my lips, and after that, much more follow.

Tears start to make their way down my face, welling up in my eyes and wetting my eyelashes.

I don't even notice that I've stopped punching.

My arms are hanging lifelessly next to my body.

The salt water drips down my cheeks, and I lick them from my lips.

Then I slowly sloutch down on the ground.

I wrap my arms around my legs, and bury my head in between my knees.

Then I begin to full on cry.

Not small whimpers.

No.

A shaking body, huge sobs and uneven gasps of air.

I can't hold it in anymore.

I want to go home.

I want Niall.

I want his small body to warm me, his smell to calm me and his smile to enliven me.

I want him so bad.

Niall.

I love you, my angel.





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