The Room- A Niam Fanfiction

Alone is a lonely word.

Dedicated to @EAPoeLover because her comment was so lovely c:

Happy halloween my pumpkins!!!

Sorry I haven't been writing lately, I had a lot of homework and drama and learning and essays and guitar hero to do so I didn't really have any time to do anything :c

(Oh the joys of being a teenager)

The person who knows what band this is from gets fresh baked cookies from me:

"If there were monsters in the closet,
Well, I don't think I would be surprised
I hear him call out from my window
They try and trick me to come outside."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up with a weird feeling in my stomach.

Like you're hanging upside down and you can feel everything twisting and turning in your body.
Making you feel a little nauseous.

Or the weird tingely feeling you get when you go down in a roller coaster.

I used to love that feeling.

It just felt like an amazing rush.

Looking over the edge waiting until you fall.

Waiting for the roller coaster to move, for your heart to stop and for your voice to scream.

And then you go down, the wind blowing in your hair making you feel light-headed.

The soft flows of air tickeling your face.

The sceaming of people around you.

It made me feel alive.

Maybe it's a little like Zayn used to say:

'Just close your eyes and enjoy the roller coaster that is life.'

I never really thought about it, but now I think I understand.

You never know what's going to happen, because you don't know how a new roller coaster goes.

And you can try to keep everything from happening, one day you have to fall.

It will happen, no matter what you do.

You can at least try to enjoy it the best you can.

Close your eyes and enjoy life.

I'm getting deep here.

About roller coasters.

"I need to stop thinking..." I sigh, and I brush my hand through the little hair I have.

My hand is almost totally red because of the dried blood, and it hurts like hell.

But I don't even care.

I don't care about anything right now.

All I am is hungry.

I look around the room, but I already know what I will find.

There's a plate of food next to the door again, and I crawl over to it.

Sitting down against the door, I start to eat.

I don't even notice what's on the plate, but it tastes nice.

I'm just hungry, and I can literally eat anything right now.

You can give me a cat and I'll eat it.

Or maybe not, because that sounds really disgusting.

I mean, imagine murdering a cat with your bare hands, ripping the flesh apart.

And then eating it when the poor animal still half-alive.

I'm pretty sure I would puke.

All over the cat's dead corpse.

What the fuck am I thinking about?!

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier:

'I need to stop thinking.'

I finish my plate, drink some water from the tap and take a pee.

After that I sigh deeply, and close my eyes for a second.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm locked up in here, not even knowing where I am.

I could be somewhere on the other side of the world without even knowing!

And I'm not even going to take the time to make an escape plan.

It won't work.

Not in any fucking way.

It's like something is keeping me from getting out of here.

Yea, there you have it.

I'm giving up hope.

I'm just going to wait until the prince on a white horse comes and saves me from this hell.

But it's hard to imagine Niall on a white horse being all prince-ish.

Admit it.
It would ridiculous.

I giggle a little, and sit down on the floor brushing the dust of my jeans.

He would have a big golden crown, and his hair would shine really bright in the sunlight.

His cute little face would look so serious, his pink lips pursed together.

Then he would pick me up from the ground, and let me sit in front of him on the horse.

And we would ride away on a rainbow.

I start to laugh, and have to hide my hand in my fist to not burst out in a enormous fit of laughter.

Why do I even hide my laugh?

I'm completely alone.

Totally and utterly alone.

Entirely and absolutely alone.

Are there more ways to say that?

I think I named everything.

Completely, totally, utterly, entirely and absolutely alone.

Alone alone alone.

"Alone."

I can feel the word on my tonque, hearing it echoing from wall to wall.

"Alone lonely loner."

The words all come bouncing back to me, ringing in my ears.

"Alone? Alone! ALONE!!!"

I try to taste to word in every way possible, but it stays the same.

It stays a lonely word.

Alone is a lonely word.

I trace something on the floor, making lines in the dust and drawing cirkles.

I need to clean this place up.

Maybe by cleaning this place, I will clean my head.

I glance over to the broom, trying to let it float over to me with magical powers.

It doesn't work.

Maybe I have to practise.

Who am I kidding? No magic outside Hogwards ofcourse!

Yea, I have to clean this stupid head of mine, wipe all this weird shit out.

Groaning, I push myself up, and walk over to the broom.

Picking it up, I turn around, and let my eyes wander around the room.

"Grey, boring, dusty and old."

I start to sweep with the broom, not really paying attention to what I'm actually doing.

I dance with the broom a little, skipping around the room.

"I am titaaaa-niiiiiii-uuuuuum." I softly sing, listening to the music in my head.

"Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall.
Ghost town and haunted love."

That sentence makes me think about last night.

I can't really remember it correctly, I only have vague images in my head which I don't know what to do with.

I only remember voices.

I keep sweeping around the room, trying to clean the dust away.

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose,
fire away, fire away.
Ricochet, you take your aim,
fire away, fire away."

I've really got nothing to lose.

Or have I?

I know I probably won't get out of here, making me think that I've got nothing to lose.

But maybe people are looking for me now.

Searching everywhere.

Not giving up.

I've got something to lose.

I've got a lot to lose.

I've got them to lose.

"Stone-hard, machine gun,
firing at the ones who run.
Stone-hard as bulletproof glass."

Even bulletproof glass is nothing compared to these walls.

"You shoot me down but I won't fall,
I am titanium..."