A kiss with a Fist (boyxboy)

17) My Homophobic Gay Lover (boyxboy)

“I don’t know!” Jake shouted at me.

“Jake calm down!”

“I will not calm down! You’re breaking my heart in two!”

“I thought you loved my brother?”

“I made it up! I knew you didn’t feel the same way for me so I lied! You happy now?” a single tear rolled down his check. I moved forward to wipe it away but Jake only jumped back, “No stay away from!”

“Jakey?”

“No Nick you don’t get it, I love you!” those three words froze me. Jake laughed a humorless laugh, “See you don’t love me back! You prance around like your Mr. everything and I love it! I love how you always so happy even in the worst of situations! Yours always there for me and I want to be always there for you! Forever! Everything you do makes me love you more! Nickolas Reed I love you with all my heart and I have since that first day we meet!”

I just stared at him frozen still, my best friend loves me. It’s like a drama read directly from a book read by teenage girls. This was supposed to be the part where I find that deep down inside I have always loved him to, but this is not a made up drama for people’s enjoyment but my real life! I can either say I love you back and see where that takes us possibly breaking both of our hearts or lose my best friend forever.

“Jakey,” I whispered trying not to break down in tears but I could tell Jake was losing that battle. “I love you, but not in the way you want. I have always seen you as my best friend, a brother I wish I had, but I don’t see us as a couple,”

I instantly regretted what I said. I saw Jakes heart break in his eyes, the way they tear up even more, his jaw tight and his hands shaking.

“Jake, but please I can’t lose you! I need you in my life! I trust you with everything and you know everything about me! We can’t throw this friendship away for one flipping emotion!”

“Nick you never been in love have you?” he whispered, his voice shaky, “Love isn’t an emotion you can turn on and off. You can’t turn to your safe place and expect it to make it all better. Everytime I see you or hear your name my heart flutters! When I am with you I feel like I can be myself and you won’t judge me. You helped me accept myself and even with most of the school hating me for being gay you taught me I can still be happy!”

“I may not know anything about love but I do know…” I was interrupted by the phone ringing; I just ignored it until I heard something drop from upstairs. “Mom?”

“NO!” she shouted running down the stairs almost tripping. I caught up with her and held her shaking body in my arms.

“Mom, what's wrong?” he eyes were puffy and red with tears flowing over like a waterfall. She looked into my eyes then gripped me in an un-breathable bear hug with, if possible, more tears.

“Jess… Zain… car crush… hospital… dying…!” she managed to get out. My blood ran cold as I processed those six words.

“No, that can’t be right, Zain is in my room. Right?” I looked to Jake who just shook his head no and looked at the ground.

“He snuck out saying that ‘your best friend should be there for you in a time like this’,” he barley whispered.

I stood there comforting my mother before it all caught up with me, car crush, hospital, dying! Who’s dying?

“We have to go now! Jake get the car keys from the kitchen, I’ll get my mom in the car, hurry!” I cradle my mom, well tried but I'm too weak so I just ended up dragging her behind me, to the car. I made Jake drive not trusting myself. When we finally made it to the ER Jake rushed out saying something about finding out the room numbers leaving me to get my mom.